Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Matt and Sarah Hasselbeck


It has come to my attention that Sarah Hasselbeck was once struck by lightning. That's a pretty cool fun fact, but compounding that with the fact that her husband Matt has been struck twice makes me both horny and scared. Put a statue of Matt being hit by two lightning bolts outside Alumni 5 minutes ago, Gene. If I could choose one thing to survive unharmed (other than the upcoming apocalypse), I'd probably go with lightning. The electrocution would probably sting, but I'd be a hero. "Oh, you had a rough day? Work was tough? I had a rough day twice. Yeah the heavens dropped dick on me in the form of a lightning bolt, but I'm sure the fact that your boss didn't give you a good quarterly review stings just as bad." And this happened twice, Matt? They say that the odds of being struck by lightning in a given year is 1/500,000 (Wikipedia). The odds of surviving such a strike is something entirely different. Matt beat the shit out of those odds twice what a hero! And to marry fellow strike survivor Sarah, former BC field hockey player (Wikipedia), that just makes me want to get all kinds of nakey. I wonder what was more painful for Sarah: giving birth or being hit by a megavolt/meter flash. The odds of this are astounding, and that's what's got me so giddy. I'd gladly sacrifice a pair of soiled pants for the opportunity to start every bar conversation with "I got struck by lightning once. Lost a lot of good men out there." Matt, keep making your Alma Mater proud. And until that third strike comes, keep your ear to the grindstone (not sure if those are conductors or insulators).

6 comments:

  1. The odds are actually very high in your favor to survive being struck by lightning.

    Also, once you get hit the likelihood of getting hit again goes up exponentially.

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  2. nice piece but surviving a shark attack is way better

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  3. why even cite wikipedia when we know thats the only reference you use?

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  4. Getting struck by lightning leaves gnarly marks like this.

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  5. Finally a funny post. The horny and nakey parts got me, but maybe that's just because I have a juvenile sense of humor. Still, good stuff.

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  6. Matt and Sarah are coming to campus this weekend. Coincidence that this was posted a week before?

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