Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Beauty of a Two-Dollar Bill

I was at the bar the other night when I saw a gentleman approach a particularly attractive vixen. After some talking he offered to buy her a drink. She seemed pretty hesitant at first, but eventually said yes. I was standing right next to the guy, waiting to get a pitcher of the "cheapest thing you have on tap", when the barkeeper gave the him his change. After this Boggs-esque man went to put the change in his wallet he took out two crispy two-dollar bill$ and left them as his tip. Here I was sitting in sweatpants about to pay for a pitcher in quarters and singles and this absolute legend is wielding two dollar bills as tip. Shibby. If that girl didn't drop her panties for him later that night then she has some serious issues. When I got back to my table and delivered the pitcher to my mates it dawned on me...two-dollar bills are the shit. It's too easy.
Why are they so damn cool? Why did this guy think of this ploy before I did? A few thoughts I had: two is obviously the best denomination, and the two-buck bill is rare. It's where currency meets style. If you have Jeffersons in your wallet that means you care about your money and you like cool shit. It means that at one point in time you came across a two-dollar bill and decided to keep it for a special moment. Discipline. The bills are rare, but more importantly, they're economically invaluable. Anyone can stamp their name on them. The only reason they don't is because it takes time and it's ultimately a hassle. But because they're so rare, every time someone sees one they at least take note of it. It's a great conversation starter, and it's a cool phenomenon. Having a two-dollar bill is a sign of power without actually having to be powerful. All you need is two dollars (twenty cans) to get one of these and make yourself look a whole lot more important than you actually are.

I want a Jefferson cheddarbomb before my time is up.


  1. Replies
    1. dwmc shoutout i love it

  2. Strip club on the cape gives all its change in 2's. Probably herpes crawling all over that bill.

  3. you can buy uncut 2 dollar bill sheets from the federal reserve, I believe. but you'll end up paying more than face value? not entirely sure on the details.


  5. Yep that's all correct, a sheet of 8 of them is like 25 bucks or so.

  6. ... not correct. the currency is still in circulation, and is not worth more than face value.

    From the Treasury website (

    "April 13, 1976 - The two-dollar bill was reissued as part of the Bicentennial. Jefferson remained on the face of the bill, but the back now featured the signing of the Declaration of Independence instead of Monticello. Contrary to popular belief, the two-dollar bill is still printed and in circulation. The most recent series of two-dollar bill is from 2003."

  7. fyi you can get $2 bills from bank... just ask

  8. wow i have 500 of those 2$ bills and they r not that cool

  9. Jefferson really sucks as a person