Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Pissing in the Snow

Just when I thought I'd seen my last opportunity to grace the snow with my urine this year, God gives me a nice little slap on the ass and blankets the ground with white. Pissing in the wind is a nuisance (not to mention moronic), and tinkling in a pool is the bee's knees and all, but no way of relieving yourself is quite like pissing in the snow. Something about seeing the steam rise up from the partially frozen ground gives me a sense of meaning in this world. I strongly encourage everyone to not let this opportunity go to waste, pun intended. Don't necessarily go out of your way to do it, but at some point you're gonna be feeling down and you're gonna need a little snow-piss to bring you out of your funk. There's no logic behind my affinity for going in the snow, but it just gets me. So many options for utilizing your full bladder when you empty it in the snow. You can aim at a target, test your fire power, draw stick figures, etc. I also tend to notice that when I write my name in the snow, the result is weirdly similar to my handwriting. It's pretty interesting if you ask me. In essence, pretty much everything that pissing in the snow has to offer is awesome. The result might not be appealing to people's eyes, but that shouldn't deter anyone from living out their dreams.

Disclaimer: Public urination is a serious offense and is punishable by a court of law. Piss responsibly.

T-T-T-T-Today Junyah!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Andre Iguodala Asks A Brilliant Question

I'm surprised this isn't talked about more in the basketball world. Most coaches tell you to aim for the back of the rim, but once you release the shot are you staring at the target or watching the ball travel there? Personally I stare at the rim and hope the ball shows up where I want it to. It doesn't surprise me that Euro's like Dirk and Nash (quasi Euro)
do this, but Kevin Love? Here I was, convinced he was an All-American, cornbred-fed, rim-staring hero and he goes and pulls this shit on me. Staring at the ball is basketball's version of riding goofy as far as I'm concerned.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Top 500 Feelings - #49 Pulling Off a Trick Play

While some might not like trick plays due to their sleazy nature, executing one has got to be a pure feeling. In my mind the 2 originals are the "wrong ball" football play (easily the cheapest), and in baseball after a conference on the mound, the first basemen secretly takes the ball back to first and tags the runner out once he takes his lead. Here are a few other pretty examples. Somebody find me the video of BC Lax's hidden ball trick.

Friday, February 24, 2012

Lil Wayne Knows How to Dress

Unreal get up at All-Star Weekend. Yes that's a WNBA jersey.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Intern Search

Time to address the chafe in the room. With gr******on coming up, the godfathers of this operation are running out of time here. That being said, this site has made some strides this past year and could really become something more with the right personnel. We're gonna be blunt here: we're looking for you. We see you when you sit at your computer and mumble to yourself "great idea but I could have been funnier with it." Now's your chance to prove it. Most of the reader chafes and top 500's we get are quality, we're now looking to up the quantity. As we said last year, what makes our site readable is the fact that it doesn't take a genius to come up with the ideas we write about. We just want another voice who does it well. Maybe that guy (or girl?) is you.
We're smiling as we write this post, just because we know some future intern is smiling right now as (s)he reads it. We'll be posting some of the humorous responses we get this year, and we're gonna try to get the readership involved in the selection process, but more on that later. For now, it is time. Consider this your preliminary interview. We look forward to meeting you soon.
Send to by Monday night if you would like to party.

Part I (short answer):
1. What brand and color is your backpack?

2. Where do you live? What’s on the walls?

3. What’s your favorite TV show?

4. Favorite poet?

5. What’s your twitter handle?

6. Jim’s or Eag’s Sunday morning?

7. What’s the best local bar?

8. What’s the best non Happy/Madison comedy?

9. If you could be a mediocre professional athlete, what sport and position would you pick?

10. What’s the best hat you own?

11. Who is your favorite person to follow on twitter?

12. What shampoo do you use?

13. Are your facebook tags privatized?

Part II:

1. Go to the Wikipedia page of Chafe, Nigeria. Using only hyperlinks on Wikipedia pages, navigate your way to the Wikipedia page of Rosie O’Donnell (this could take a while). Write down your path. For some extra credit, tell me a few things you learned along the way that you found interesting.

2. Name your favorite five ESPN workers:

3. What’s your ideal foursome on the golf course? In bed?

4. Add a word to our dictionary and define it:

5. Was Darwin right?

6. Pen a few rap bars:

The Trees Are The Right Height


Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Skoal Just Gets It


His signature superman pose is one of my favorite to date. I can't wait to see this guys sophomore season. #Fresh2Death.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Just a Couple of Legends

Credit to @BCHockeyNews for the pic from after last night's game. Wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall while these two share stories.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Cena For President

John Cena breaks the news to the fans that the US killed Bin Laden. That's an upper body if I've ever seen one.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Chris Lilley Interview

Was curious to see what he actually talked like.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Why is Lin Being Compared to Tebow?

Jeremy Lin is a Christian professional athlete, much like Tim Tebow. After that, the similarities really stop. Lin essentially came out of nowhere, was overlooked by countless basketball powerhouses, let alone average basketball schools. Tebow was getting looks from the best football schools in the country and once he went to Florida won two natty ships and a Heisman and could not have been more in the spotlight during his college years. Lin got some attention at Harvard (largely but not only because he was Asian-American) but nothing compared to Tebow.

Tebow got drafted and soon his jersey was the number one seller in the league. Lin didn't get drafted and was picked up and quickly released by both the Warriors and Rockets. In Tebow's first season, he started 3 games (lost 2 of them). His second season he played in 14 games and averaged 9 completions a game (dead last in the league(yes Curtis Painter had more)). Lin got very limited playing time his first year and in his second year as we all know he has been tearing it up. When he gets his minutes, he hasn't played a single bad game. Not one. Tebow looked like a high-schooler on so many plays this season it's not even funny.

Not to mention the fact that so many people hate Tebow and almost no one dislikes Lin. ESPN has jammed both their stories down our throats which can give anyone reason to dislike them, but the point is Lin has earned his position in the media and deserves to get talked about while Tebow was only talked about because of the religious-freak aspect of his off-the-field life and his unconventional (yet still not successful) playing style on the field.

Sorry. Had to get that off my chest.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

We've Got a Showdown

Our friends at HerCampus put out their own "Shit BC Girls Say." I think this one might be a little more pertinent to BC while the other is more college in general but they're both decent. Guys dressing up as girls never hurts a video either.

P.S. Do chicks really consider whether guys are in CSOM or A&S? Is that a real thing?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What A 'Champian'

If you were wondering why Brad Marchand wasn't featured in the Boston Bruins' championship DVD, the popular instigator provided an answer in the latest edition of Sports Illustrated: He was too drunk to be interviewed.

Three nights after the Bruins secured their first Stanley Cup in 39 years, the team celebrated deep into the night at a now notorious party at a club at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. The next day, the Bruins each took their turns being interviewed for the commemorative DVD. When it was the 23-year-old Marchand's turn, at 4 p.m., he was excused because he was, as he put it, "intoxicated."

Marchand, Marchand, Marchand. You dog you. Apparently him and Seguin went on a "bit of a tear" after winning Lord Stanley. I would love for him to clarify "a bit of a tear" for us. Does a "bit of a tear" mean he got rocked for a week straight or does "a bit of a tear" mean he got rocked for 2 months straight? The part that makes me mad is the fact that his Dad was the reason for the bender-ender. He sat him down and said he had to win the next 2 out of 3 championships in order to go on this "tear" that Marchand was speaking of. I wish the excuse of being too drunk could be used more. If that excuse flew with the teachers here I think that would make for some pretty interesting test days. I guess the only way to get a tattoo spelled wrong is to be on "a bit of a tear."

Monday, February 13, 2012

Well Look What We Have Here

That fantastic ATM outside Cleveland Circle (the one with ten dollar bills) spit out the old school Jackson for Jenkems. Don't know how many of these bad boys still exist but seeing one makes me feel tingly inside. He knew right then and there that it was going to be a special night, and boy was he right.

Happy Beanpot!

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

Pretty good. This crew has a likable quality that I can't quite put my finger on. Undoubtedly a lot of girls will see this and think they can do better. My advice to them is to do better.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Friday, February 10, 2012

His Airness

I would do disturbing, unforgivable things for MJ to be coming into the league as a rookie this year. I feel like I was too young to fully understand just how much of a God he was. If D-Rose and KD had a baby, then Kobe and LeBron had a baby, and then some how those babies met and had a baby, and then that baby was taught how to play basketball by Larry Bird at a young age and eventually coached by Brad Stevens and home-schooled by Jay Bilas, that would be the equivalent of Michael Jordan. 6 Finals MVP's in 6 tries. 5 league MVPs and a 10 time scoring champion. 11 time all NBA selection and 9 time all defensive selection. 2 Olympic gold medals and 2 slam dunk contest championships. The guy was in SpaceJam. At least we have youtube and can watch MJ clips for hours on end.

Did you know the Jordan brand grosses more profit than the whole country of Jordan?

D.o R.ight A.nd K.ill E.verything

Drake just recently passed Diddy for most number 1 rap songs in billboard history with 11. It took him all of 3 years to do so. With that being said, not everyone is a big Drake fan. For those haters out there, here's a funny little clip poking fun at Drizzy. I think they could have done a better job but they get the point across. You gotta be able to laugh at yourself a little or this world will eat you up. It's a cole, cole world.

"I'm hearing all of the jokes, I know that they tryna push me;
I know that showin' emotion don't ever mean I'm a pussy;
Know that I don't make music for niggas who don't get pussy;
So those are the ones I count on to diss me or overlook me"

-Lord Knows, Drake

Black People In Paris Music Vid

Holy seizure. Kane and Jigga just went there. Are music videos back? I haven't enjoyed watching a music video this much since the 90's when Steal My Sunshine, Tubthumping and Bad Touch were holding down the fort. Ye and Jay must lock themselves in a room with a bag of performance enhancers and bounce ideas back and forth until they're both laughing at how ridiculous the music video is gonna be. Rumor has it that Jay Z wanted this track to be called "Ball So Hard" but Kanye put his foot down and pouted until he got his way. I wonder who wears the pants in this relationship? The whole album is fire and I really hope more artist team up in the near future.

P.S. Note the warning at the beginning of this clip

Thursday, February 9, 2012

KD On Da Track

Kevin Durant flowing. Not sure about the video but he's better than Artest at least.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Art Of A Short Song

There is something about shorter songs that just keeps you coming back for more. My definition of short is being in the 2:30 range with a standard deviation of cuello. It's nearly impossible to murder a short song and if you eventually do, it usually takes twice as long as a normal length song. In the ipod era it is much more common to switch the song before it is over because you aren't restricted to an 18 track CD but rather a library full of good chunes. To be frank, people just get sick of a song after listening to it for four minutes and hearing the same hook over and over again (exceptions include American Pie, Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, Stan (feat. Dido)) . Not short songs though. Nope. Short songs are ADDj proof. No one has the guts to change Collie Man before it's over. It's like committing a sin. If I worked for Chafe Records I would require my artists to come out with one short song per year. The world would be a better place with more short songs, I mean, who gets tired of seeing midgets?

Here are some of my favorite short songs, if I'm forgetting any, well, I'm forgetting them:

It Was Suhhhhhhhh

I think we all imagine that Kyle Vanden Bosch has a couple of screws loose up in the head. After listening to this brief interview with Rodgers I think it's a pretty safe bet to say we are right. The guy is psycho. A good player nonetheless but psycho. I'm sure there are a million more stories out there also that support my claim.


Who would have thought that Jeremy Lin would be the answer. I know it's only been a couple of games but he's already established himself as the best Asian-American basketball player ever. It's tough not to jump on the Linsanity bandwagon right now. The Knickerbockers are in the dumps, desperate for anyone to play point guard. Cue Jeremy Lin and his blue toungue. It seemed like just yesterday when he was torching us on the court that Jared Dudley built. I don't know how long it's going to last or if this guy is the real deal so soak it up right now Knicks fans. I ain't one to start rumors but I'm fairly sure Lin signed to Tim Okazaki's GayStyle line. He will be wearing a pair of lickable basketball shoes the next home game.

BC Memes

I don't know how long this BC Memes (it's pronounced meems right?) Facebook page has been going but I just stumbled upon it. A few were spot-on and a few were just odd. A few of my faves:

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Where Are They Now? - James "Boobie" Miles

This post doesn’t have a happy ending so if you’re emotionally invested in Boobie’s current state just give up now. When we last saw Boobie, he was going nowhere fast. He was a classic hometown hero who lost everything to a torn ACL – the “Mason Plumlee” of injuries. Shit hasn’t gotten much better for the former Panther. Mike Winchell certainly hasn’t “visited his distinguished ass in California” yet. Boobie ended up playing fullback at Ranger College for a year, but flunked out and never returned. He now has two kids who live in Midland with their mom. Boobie lives in Dallas and is out of work (according to wikipedia). In 2009 he was charged with aggravated assault after he beat his brother over the head with a beer bottle. So yeah, it’s been a tough go since the ACL tear. Fuck it though, Boobie’s a hero and forever will be. All he wanted to do was play football and he was damn good at it until the injury. Billy Bob's speech at halftime of the state championship is an underrated one in my opinion, especially when he brings Boobie into it. While his life hasn’t gone as planned, let's realize his accomplishments. He's had a movie made about him. For better or for worse, he's probably gotten with the majority of Midland, TX. And everything he did, he did with his Nikes. That dedication to steeze is the type that I'm obligated to support. Boobie can rest his head at night knowing that if he ever wants to give college football another go, he’s welcome here anytime.

High-School footage. No wonder he was getting letters from every major college:

Monday, February 6, 2012

Dayglow Coming To Boston

To find out more and get tickets visit:

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Is the 16th Hole at the Phoenix Open Frat Heaven?

Sorry for neglecting the website the past week. I can't think of an excuse. Anyway, the Waste Management Open is this weekend and I would kill to be able to post up at the 16th hole all day. The course is by ASU and encourages fans to get loud. There is no better place to get an ace. That's a rough "woo" job at 7:43.

Jarrod Lyle aced one last year: