Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Where Have These Been?

When is comes to ketchup, less is chafe. I'm not a man of moderation, and ketchup is no exception to this admirable quality of mine. That's why I can't believe a ketchup company hasn't made a bigger-sized packet yet. Even Hunt's could make a run in the industry if they expanded these Simon Birched-sized containters (sidenote: if you prefer Hunt's saltless ketchup to any other ketchup: do your parents a favor and change your name). If you're looking to eat healthy, don't eat food that requires any amount of ketchup. The grind of tearing open one of these bastards isn't worth the squeeze of three droplets that'll get me through a mere ten french fries. There's not a full meal out there that needs only one ketchup packet. I need more from a single packet. This here is what I'm talking about. This is what I've been waiting for. I'm tired of stealing the containers from Eagle's Deli when I have to take an order to go. Why can't these be everywhere? I don't want to have to look like a slob anymore, but if that's what it takes, lay off me I'm starving!

P.S. Catsup is also a grammatically correct spelling for ketchup. So is catchup. The more you know...

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