Wednesday, November 30, 2011
The Pac-12 has two divisions: North and South. If you were to rank all the Pac-12 teams together, UCLA would be in 4th place. But, because college football makes a lot of sense, they will be playing Oregon this Friday in the Pac-12 Championship game. What's the spread? 32.5. That's appalling even for a college basketball game. I don't know if the BCS is technically to blame for this but they're getting the blame by default. Let's hope the Bruins cover for their own sake.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Orlovsky will be under center this Sunday for the Peytonless (winless) Colts against the Pats. Vegas' 21 point line seems a bit small in my opinion. Who knows though, maybe Orlovsky can claim the glory he's always deserved. Either way, the guy is better at looking completely defeated than anyone in sports. Wonder how many Orlovsky jerseys I'll see this week...
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Nothing is as pure as lighting stuff on fire. And everybody loves to do it. It starts from a young age with birthday candles, then you move up to bonfires/s'mores where random debris is inevitably thrown in the fire, then you finally graduate to getting the hook up for illegal fireworks.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The sale of the Houston Astros got approved by Major League Baseball on Nov. 16, but not before a strict stipulation got placed on the new owner. In exchange for an approval on sale, MLB is forcing the Astros to move to the American League. -yahoo
I guess I could say I saw this one coming, but I don't want to lie to you guys. Sort of a random move if you ask me, but the MLB knows more than I do. Honestly, after following David Freese bask in his glory in the week following the World Series, I've been off baseball. Now here comes this news out-of-the-blue and it's got me asking the obvious question: how are the Astros, a team whose recent interleague record is as good as my attendance record in history lectures, going to survive in the AL for the next few years? They're 7-23 in the last two seasons against the AL, and their struggles aren't looking to turn anytime soon. Maybe there's a possible Rangers vs. Astros rivalry in the making, but let's be honest: Selig should have at least given us back the Colt .45s. What a squad. What a country.
I'm no rookie to Cleveland Circle. I'm an Eagle's Deli advocate, I've had my fair share of Resevoir Liquor Store buys, and I've gone to Chipotle enough to know that having the worker "mix that all up a bit" benefits a burrito so much it shouldn't be free. Cleveland Circle is a popular spot. With all the crowds in our own little Times Square comes a vast shortage of parking. Parking sucks as it is, but particularly so when you're hungry. And after every time I make the Hail-Mary U-Turn across the T-Tracks (lot of hyphens), as I drive up to Eag's I see a gap between cars right in front of it. My lucky day, a gap between cars. It wants to be filled. It wants my car. No...it's just a damn fire hydrant. It always has been. That same fire hydrant has crushed my future more than I care to count and I still get fooled by it. It hurts. All fire hydrant cock-blocks do. Maybe it's because finding parking elsewhere in the vicinity is tough, and maybe it's the glimmer of false hope I get every time I drive up to it. Either way, it's the type of chafe that keeps on chafing. Usually just ends up in a trip to Tedeschi's and a afternoon full of shame.
Whether we're talking basketball or 'ruit, we've all had the split-second magical feeling of letting go of a ball and being so confident it's going in that you'd bet your house/pink slip on it. Watching the shot actually go through the basket/solo cup is just a formality at this point. You've already started running down court, probably doing your best Darius Miles Alien Antenna celly. Bonus points if you start your celly before the ball drops through. And hold that follow-through if you know what's good for you.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
If I sit here and knock all the library security guards then I'm seriously undercutting the moral standards of this site. We all know that the night watchman with the short sleeve button-down and tie is one of the best employees at BC behind RedBeard and the CLXF maintenance worker. But a chafe's a chafe, and sometimes some of the security guards go on a little power-trip. I'm here in O'Neill on a Thursday afternoon, and because I can't ever sit still in a library for more than 10 minutes, I got up and scoped out the talent on the 4th floor, which is usually above average. I was gone for probably 5 minutes, and if it wasn't horrible enough that I was in the library this late on a Thursday, I came back to find this condescending and sarcastic letter from security. This got me thinking about a few things: 1. The only letters that don't suck are either from your grandma on your birthday with money attached to it or from a chick back when you were in 5th grade. Safe to say that every other letter is not worth opening. 2. You're a security guard: it is your job to make sure nothing bad happens in the library. There is very little traffic here today, so when you see my shit unattended, instead of leaving a letter, why don't you keep watch for thirty seconds? I know it isn't in your job description, but it'd be more effective than just dropping a note then bouncing. There's really nothing else urgent going on in here that needs your surveillance, trust me on that. 3. Leaving a piece of paper only notifies any potential thieves that I have been away from my shit long enough for you to have passed by, which is the same thing as putting a bucket of candy out on Halloween with a "take one" sign attached to it. 4. Why don't the futuristic vending machines ever have anything in stock? 5. Why am I still here? The thing is, you can tell me what to do all you want while I'm in here. I'll give you that. But you will never have the power to take a Thursday Night from me. I know I have a shitload of work due tomorrow, but after this letter fiasco, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! IM SORRY I CAN'T!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
I think everyone will agree with me when I say that losing on Sunday can ruin the week ahead. Sportscenter becomes the anti-christ (aka Kyle Singler (soon to be the Plumlees)) as they continually rerun highlights of your teams defeat and proceed to question your team's playoff chances. Mark Schlereth, shut the fuck up. No one cares what you have to say about the NFL with your often contradictory statements and your cocky charisma. I got news for you buddy, Terrell Davis and John Elway would have won superbowls without you. You were nothing more than a product of a Mike Shanahan zone blocking scheme. Get over yourself and don't talk about my favorite team anymore. The only thing that makes a Sunday loss worse is when you lose and then have to write a 6 page philosophy paper that you decided to put off until Sunday afternoon. But after having to watch your fantasy squad play during the 1 and 4 O'Clock games, you didn't have time to get around to it before your lovers played Sunday night. If they lose that game you can kiss your good grade on that paper goodbye (unless you have someone's from a previous year). I wish I could write at the top of my paper before I hand it in, "my football team lost," so the teacher understands the poor quality of work/effort. It's like losing part of your soul. The toughest time after a loss is the first 24 hours, when you replay every down in your head and think what could have been if Painter completed that 3rd and short in the red zone. Half the time after a loss (especially a tough one) I don't even get around to writing the paper and instead I wake up early to grind. With all the emotion and time we put into Sundays during the fall, no teacher should be allowed to have anything due on Mondays.
note: I love when Tony Romo loses
Monday, November 7, 2011
1:00 Looks like something McLovin would do before he blazed.
1:32 Ice Cube’s Obvious Medical Advice Part 1
2:23 Wait what was the point of that interlude?
2:31 Oh, hey Dave.
3:10 Ice Cube’s Obvious Medical Advice Part 2 (best part)
Whatever the name, there's an Internet movement afoot: A petition designed to keep the oft-mocked Canadian rock outfit from playing at halftime of the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving Day game against the Green Bay Packers.
It began with one man: University of Michigan graduate student/Michigan native/Thanksgiving Day ticket holder Dennis Guttman, a vehement anti-Nickelbacker who was "extremely disappointed" when he heard the band had been tabbed.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Austin Rivers is Duke’s bluest chip. Doc’s son will be a lottery pick in next year’s NBA draft and deserves to be. Tons o' game. According to many, he's also the biggest basketball douche to step foot on campus since a certain white, alcoholic, shoot-from-anywhere #4 stalked the halls of Cameron Indoor (and Duke sororities). Grantland’s Shane Ryan writes, “You thought Redick was bad? Austin Rivers is everything that people accused J.J. Redick of being. He's the uber-Redick, the Duke stereotype blown into bogeyman proportions. This is the chosen one, slouching toward Durham, that the enemies have been awaiting.” They’ve already dubbed him “Austintatious” in Durham, his on-court arrogance and swagger is off the charts, and he’s apparently the type of complainer that has never committed a foul in his basketball playing career. Did I mention he’s wearing #0? Ready to hate yet?
“Ima go off. Ima go off right now.”