Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Pac - 12 "Championship Game"

The Pac-12 has two divisions: North and South. If you were to rank all the Pac-12 teams together, UCLA would be in 4th place. But, because college football makes a lot of sense, they will be playing Oregon this Friday in the Pac-12 Championship game. What's the spread? 32.5. That's appalling even for a college basketball game. I don't know if the BCS is technically to blame for this but they're getting the blame by default. Let's hope the Bruins cover for their own sake.

I Think We've Won The Battle

Kyle Singler will remain in Spain to play for Real Madrid rather than return to the United States and play for the Detroit Pistons, Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports is reporting. Singler was the 33rd pick in the 2011 NBA Draft out of Duke University.

Singler began his overseas career playing for Alicante, where he averaged 15 points per game. He signed with Real Madrid Tuesday to replace Rudy Fernandez, who will be returning to play with the Dallas Mavericks.

“Real Madrid presented a really attractive package that Kyle couldn’t pass up,” Singler’s agent Greg Lawrence told Yahoo! Sports. “While playing in Alicante, Kyle fell in love with Spain, but he’s also looking forward to career in the NBA with the Detroit Pistons.”

Detroit will still own rights to Singler for the 2012-13 season, when he is expected to return to the NBA. The Pistons will have a chance to make a counter offer December 9 if they are interested in luring Singler back stateside.

After years of us divulging embarrassing and true information about Kyle Singler, his reputation has finally taken a bad enough hit to the point where he has fled the country. "Real Madrid presented a really attractive package that Kyle couldn't pass up." Like what, not living in Detroit? Just when I thought those Chrysler ads saved that city it's right back down in the dumps again when even a lowlife like Singler turns it down. He's your problem now Spain. With Singler's emigration, look forward to hearing some pretty interesting facts about the Plumlees in the very near future.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

The Reemergence of Dan Orlovsky

For those of you who don't remember possibly the worst season in the history of professional sports, this video pretty much sums it all up in a hilarious 22 seconds.

Orlovsky will be under center this Sunday for the Peytonless (winless) Colts against the Pats. Vegas' 21 point line seems a bit small in my opinion. Who knows though, maybe Orlovsky can claim the glory he's always deserved. Either way, the guy is better at looking completely defeated than anyone in sports. Wonder how many Orlovsky jerseys I'll see this week...

It's That Time Of Year

Oh how the Holidays come early. You really never see this many gorgeous females together in one place unless you're at a Justin Bieber concert. I wonder what song they are going to use to top Akon's Angel from last year? There's really no reason not to have this on the tube tonight.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Robots Are Cool

Honda built this robot they call "Asimo." I would have so much fun bringing this guy out with me.
The other video is pretty ridiculous too.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Top 500 Feelings - #422 Lighting Stuff on Fire

Nothing is as pure as lighting stuff on fire. And everybody loves to do it. It starts from a young age with birthday candles, then you move up to bonfires/s'mores where random debris is inevitably thrown in the fire, then you finally graduate to getting the hook up for illegal fireworks.

Speaking of which, shoutout to whoever's RV that was in South Bend that made it look like the 4th of July after the game. Surprisingly legit pyrotechnics. Playing with fire is as American as apple pie.

This is so Thailand (watch the whole thing):

Jacob Tucker

5'11'' whiteboy with a 50 inch vertical. Sounds like Lieutenant Jenkems.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Winter Classic Tour W/ BroBible at Royale 11/30

BroBible and Broston bringing you Savoy at Royale the tonight. It's 18+ and booze is being sold to those 21+. Tickets are 20 bucks through Ticketmaster. All signs point to this being a really good idea.


The last time we did something with BroBible:

Tickets here.

Facebook group here.

Pepper Spray Cop Killin It

This cop from Occupy UC Davis has become an instant hit on the web. I giggled.

Throwback Music Video of the Week - Batter Up

Nelly comin' in hot with an absolute gem of a video. What more could you ask for from a baseball themed video - it's got pitbulls on the field, babes in bikinis packing doggies in the dugout, a bunt homerun, Murphy Lee hitting a forehand for a homer, a team scoring 420 runs, and a trophy with a chrome rim on it. Take notes Bud Selig.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Happy Thursday!

"None of you know what you have to do. Remember - everyone and I mean everyone comes into our house and pushes us around. This is their game now gentlemen, and for you seniors it's your last one so make it count because you will be riding pine in the NFL for the rest of your lives. Happy Thursday!"

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Astros to the AL

The sale of the Houston Astros got approved by Major League Baseball on Nov. 16, but not before a strict stipulation got placed on the new owner. In exchange for an approval on sale, MLB is forcing the Astros to move to the American League. -yahoo

I guess I could say I saw this one coming, but I don't want to lie to you guys. Sort of a random move if you ask me, but the MLB knows more than I do. Honestly, after following David Freese bask in his glory in the week following the World Series, I've been off baseball. Now here comes this news out-of-the-blue and it's got me asking the obvious question: how are the Astros, a team whose recent interleague record is as good as my attendance record in history lectures, going to survive in the AL for the next few years? They're 7-23 in the last two seasons against the AL, and their struggles aren't looking to turn anytime soon. Maybe there's a possible Rangers vs. Astros rivalry in the making, but let's be honest: Selig should have at least given us back the Colt .45s. What a squad. What a country.

Chafe - Fire Hydrant Cock-Block

I'm no rookie to Cleveland Circle. I'm an Eagle's Deli advocate, I've had my fair share of Resevoir Liquor Store buys, and I've gone to Chipotle enough to know that having the worker "mix that all up a bit" benefits a burrito so much it shouldn't be free. Cleveland Circle is a popular spot. With all the crowds in our own little Times Square comes a vast shortage of parking. Parking sucks as it is, but particularly so when you're hungry. And after every time I make the Hail-Mary U-Turn across the T-Tracks (lot of hyphens), as I drive up to Eag's I see a gap between cars right in front of it. My lucky day, a gap between cars. It wants to be filled. It wants my car.'s just a damn fire hydrant. It always has been. That same fire hydrant has crushed my future more than I care to count and I still get fooled by it. It hurts. All fire hydrant cock-blocks do. Maybe it's because finding parking elsewhere in the vicinity is tough, and maybe it's the glimmer of false hope I get every time I drive up to it. Either way, it's the type of chafe that keeps on chafing. Usually just ends up in a trip to Tedeschi's and a afternoon full of shame.


How much do you love to hate Tebow? If the world doesn't end next year I wouldn't be surprised to see this. Goodell loves good boys.

Top 500 Feelings - #114 Knowing A Shot Is Going In As Soon As It Leaves Your Hands

Whether we're talking basketball or 'ruit, we've all had the split-second magical feeling of letting go of a ball and being so confident it's going in that you'd bet your house/pink slip on it. Watching the shot actually go through the basket/solo cup is just a formality at this point. You've already started running down court, probably doing your best Darius Miles Alien Antenna celly. Bonus points if you start your celly before the ball drops through. And hold that follow-through if you know what's good for you.

0:50, but if you don't watch the whole thing you're a commie.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Spitter of the Week - Pickle Jar

I would have chosen a name I can trust (shoutout to Vlasic) but a quality spitter nonetheless.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Baby Chafe - Play It Safe

If I sit here and knock all the library security guards then I'm seriously undercutting the moral standards of this site. We all know that the night watchman with the short sleeve button-down and tie is one of the best employees at BC behind RedBeard and the CLXF maintenance worker. But a chafe's a chafe, and sometimes some of the security guards go on a little power-trip. I'm here in O'Neill on a Thursday afternoon, and because I can't ever sit still in a library for more than 10 minutes, I got up and scoped out the talent on the 4th floor, which is usually above average. I was gone for probably 5 minutes, and if it wasn't horrible enough that I was in the library this late on a Thursday, I came back to find this condescending and sarcastic letter from security. This got me thinking about a few things: 1. The only letters that don't suck are either from your grandma on your birthday with money attached to it or from a chick back when you were in 5th grade. Safe to say that every other letter is not worth opening. 2. You're a security guard: it is your job to make sure nothing bad happens in the library. There is very little traffic here today, so when you see my shit unattended, instead of leaving a letter, why don't you keep watch for thirty seconds? I know it isn't in your job description, but it'd be more effective than just dropping a note then bouncing. There's really nothing else urgent going on in here that needs your surveillance, trust me on that. 3. Leaving a piece of paper only notifies any potential thieves that I have been away from my shit long enough for you to have passed by, which is the same thing as putting a bucket of candy out on Halloween with a "take one" sign attached to it. 4. Why don't the futuristic vending machines ever have anything in stock? 5. Why am I still here? The thing is, you can tell me what to do all you want while I'm in here. I'll give you that. But you will never have the power to take a Thursday Night from me. I know I have a shitload of work due tomorrow, but after this letter fiasco, I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! IM SORRY I CAN'T!!

Top 500 Feelings - #444 Popping An Air Bubble In Your Bathing Suit

Ahhhh, how our eyes light up with joy as we see our bathing suit begin to balloon. Your butt is sitting on a seat in the hot tub yet part of your bathing suit remains floating above water, with an appearance that resembles a perfect left breast. You let it sit for a while, hoping it will grow as more and more air enters. Part of you doesn't even want to squeeze it, but you know that if you don't then someone else will. I don't quite know the science behind the bathing suit bubble so most of the time I just attribute it to magic, David Blaine. Some bathing suits were meant for the bubble. Others can't find the day of light. On a rare occasion when you walk into the shallow end of a pool slowly, your whole bathing suit will float above water. You glide around the pool showing off your badonkadonk before you must part ways and become a mere mortal again. The day I stop being amused by rupturing bathing suit air bubbles is the day Stevie Williams caddies for Tiger again.

Stifler the Enforcer

Goon comes out in February.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Happy Thursday!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that Thursdays are powerful beyond measure. It is their light, not their darkness, that most frightens us. Your staying in does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about drinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to blackout as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let Thursday's lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Chafe - Doing Homework After Your Football Team Loses

I think everyone will agree with me when I say that losing on Sunday can ruin the week ahead. Sportscenter becomes the anti-christ (aka Kyle Singler (soon to be the Plumlees)) as they continually rerun highlights of your teams defeat and proceed to question your team's playoff chances. Mark Schlereth, shut the fuck up. No one cares what you have to say about the NFL with your often contradictory statements and your cocky charisma. I got news for you buddy, Terrell Davis and John Elway would have won superbowls without you. You were nothing more than a product of a Mike Shanahan zone blocking scheme. Get over yourself and don't talk about my favorite team anymore. The only thing that makes a Sunday loss worse is when you lose and then have to write a 6 page philosophy paper that you decided to put off until Sunday afternoon. But after having to watch your fantasy squad play during the 1 and 4 O'Clock games, you didn't have time to get around to it before your lovers played Sunday night. If they lose that game you can kiss your good grade on that paper goodbye (unless you have someone's from a previous year). I wish I could write at the top of my paper before I hand it in, "my football team lost," so the teacher understands the poor quality of work/effort. It's like losing part of your soul. The toughest time after a loss is the first 24 hours, when you replay every down in your head and think what could have been if Painter completed that 3rd and short in the red zone. Half the time after a loss (especially a tough one) I don't even get around to writing the paper and instead I wake up early to grind. With all the emotion and time we put into Sundays during the fall, no teacher should be allowed to have anything due on Mondays.

note: I love when Tony Romo loses

Monday, November 7, 2011

Throwback Music Video of the Week - Check Yourself

New Broston category: Throwback Music Video of the Week. Expect great things ahead. And where better to start than with Ice Cube? This was from back when he was still the shit, not a sell-out doing Coors commercials. I live blogged this video as I watched it (see below). If you have recommendations send them to

1:00 Looks like something McLovin would do before he blazed.

1:32 Ice Cube’s Obvious Medical Advice Part 1

2:23 Wait what was the point of that interlude?

2:31 Oh, hey Dave.

3:10 Ice Cube’s Obvious Medical Advice Part 2 (best part)

Nickelback Outted

Whatever the name, there's an Internet movement afoot: A petition designed to keep the oft-mocked Canadian rock outfit from playing at halftime of the Detroit Lions' Thanksgiving Day game against the Green Bay Packers.

It began with one man: University of Michigan graduate student/Michigan native/Thanksgiving Day ticket holder Dennis Guttman, a vehement anti-Nickelbacker who was "extremely disappointed" when he heard the band had been tabbed.

Now, thanks in part to a widespread disdain for Nickelbacl, it's taking off. From 10 signatures on Tuesday night, it crossed the 22,000 mark on Thursday -- and keeps growing.

"I'm absolutely shocked and happy," Guttman said.

And he still has that main goal: "It would be fantastic if they change it. ...I'd like to hear some good music during halftime -- hopefully something that better represents Detroit."

I take my hat off to Nickelback. Touche my friends. They are one of the only bands out there that has legitimately made the same song over and over again and remained relevant for a handful of years. Far Away, Photograph, How You Remind Me, Someday, Rockstar, Savin' Me, etc. The list goes on and on. It's basically the exact same song each time with the same raspy voice singing about a bunch of drama that is broadly relatable. I don't know who was the genius who thought they'd be perfect for the Thanksgiving Day halftime show but my guess would be Matt Millen. Poor Nickelback. Dennis Guttman must really despise them if he went as far as starting a petition. I wonder what caused his hatred for the band? He must have come home one day after school only to see his Mom and all of Nickelback doing some rated R stuff. They were a consistent contributor to the NOW series and definitely got slimed at the Nickelodeon awards show one time (stat boy will check me on that one). I'll definitely keep a close eye on how this plays out over the next few weeks and keep everyone updated. Maybe Guttman is right. Maybe Nickelback doesn't belong as a halftime show for a semi-big NFL game. Or maybe Guttman is wrong and Nickelback will steal the show. Regardless of what happens we know their next song will sound something like one of these.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Pay to Cut

Thought to post this because I just did it at late night/do it all the time when the line is long in a dining hall. LD explored the 'chat and cut' in Curb this season, at BC what I've dubbed the 'pay to cut' is as common but less rude and obvious. The line is a joke, your buddy is nearing the front, you act like you forgot your card and need the friend to pay for you. Not a lot you can say or do to combat this one short of demanding a full body search. And I hope one of you calls me out.

SNL Rips the Kardashians

Michael Crabtree's Pink Jordans

Too much? Or not enough?

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Happy Night Game Thursday!

I don't know what to say, really. Three minutes to the biggest Thursday of our college lives. All comes down to today, and either, we heal as a team, or we're gonna crumble. Shot by shot, beer by beer. Until we're finished. We're in hell right now, gentlemen. Believe me. And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us, or we can fight our way back into the Mods. We can climb outta hell... one beer at a time. Now I can't do it for ya, I'm too old. I look around, I see these young faces and I think, I mean, I've made every wrong choice a senior man can make. I, uh, I've pissed away all my money, believe it or not. I chased off anyone who's ever hooked up with me. And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know, when you get old, in college, things get taken from you. I mean, that's... that's... that's a part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losin' stuff. You find out life's this game of inches, so is Thursday. Because in either game - life or Thursday - the margin for error is so small. I mean, one half a drink too late or too early and you don't quite make it. One half second too slow, too fast and you don't quite kill it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They're in every break of a Thursday, every minute, every second. On this Thursday we fight for that inch. On this Thursday we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when add up all those inches, that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing! Between living and dying! I'll tell you this, on any Thursday it's the guy whose willing to die whose gonna win that inch. And I know, if I'm gonna have any life anymore it's because I'm still willing to fight and die for that inch, because that's what living is, the six nattys in front of your face. Now I can't make you do it. You've got to look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes. Now I think ya going to see a guy who will go that inch with you. Your gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this Thursday, because he knows when it comes down to it your gonna do the same for him. That's a team, gentlemen, and either, we heal, now, as a team, or we will die as individuals. That's Thursday guys, that's all it is. Now, what are you gonna do?

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Don't Drive Drunk In New Zealand

Again, foreign commercials are so much better than American ones.

Don't You Ever Forget About Him

Remember how funny Peyton is? Clearly the MVP of this season hands down. Blast from the past.

College Basketball's Cockiest Freshman

Austin Rivers is Duke’s bluest chip. Doc’s son will be a lottery pick in next year’s NBA draft and deserves to be. Tons o' game. According to many, he's also the biggest basketball douche to step foot on campus since a certain white, alcoholic, shoot-from-anywhere #4 stalked the halls of Cameron Indoor (and Duke sororities). Grantland’s Shane Ryan writes, “You thought Redick was bad? Austin Rivers is everything that people accused J.J. Redick of being. He's the uber-Redick, the Duke stereotype blown into bogeyman proportions. This is the chosen one, slouching toward Durham, that the enemies have been awaiting.” They’ve already dubbed him “Austintatious” in Durham, his on-court arrogance and swagger is off the charts, and he’s apparently the type of complainer that has never committed a foul in his basketball playing career. Did I mention he’s wearing #0? Ready to hate yet?

“Ima go off. Ima go off right now.”

Michigan State Veterans Day Threads

For those of you that don't know, Michigan State is playing North Carolina on board a US Navy Aircraft Carrier on Veterans Day. These are the Spartans' uni's. Carolina's aren't as fresh. No word yet on whether the ship will be moving or docked.

Baby Chafe - A Broken Wheel On A Shopping Cart

How exactly do you break a wheel on a shopping cart? For the most part they don't ever leave the smooth surface of the store and they almost never experience any contact. But when one wheel goes astray then the whole cart becomes a nuisance. You never again get the pure performance out of the cart that performed so well for so long. It's a lot like tearing an ACL. It might still be able to run straight but the turning and cutting just isn't the same. Half the time you don't even realize you have a dud until it's too late and you've already filled your cart with snacks on snacks on snacks for your elite 8 pantry. The other half you just feel you can push through it and have a good shopping day regardless of the fact that your pushing around an over the hill cart. If I'm concentrating on the wheel then I'm not concentrating on all the goodies to the left and right of me. I think all the broken shopping carts should be donated to the Mod Can Lady. Think of the damage she could do with more than one cart.