Thursday, October 27, 2011
Chafe - Candy Corn
Nothing spoils a Halloween candy bag like a handful of Candy Corn. The Singlers certainly hand these out every Halloween, and so does every other asshole trying to take the night from me. They taste terribly, come in extremely small portions, and are unwrapped so my mom wouldn't let me eat them even if I wanted to. You can't ever trade these for any respectable candy, so all they really ever do is weigh down your pillowcase and take up space. They're good for the occasional throw at a passing car, but they can't even do that right all the time. Who got the idea to hand these out to kids on Halloween? There are so many options out there and you settle on these? Sure, the color scheme fits the season but it's about tasting good, not like morning breath. How bout a Snickers? Twix? Reese's? How are these classic Halloween candies? Just not for me. Fuck Candy Corn, stop ruining this for all of us.