Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Brostonly Advice

Class of 2015,

Believe me when I tell you that you’re looking straight down the barrel of the best four years of your life. Don’t let Kyle Singler ever tell you otherwise.

You’re going to drink a lot of Rubinoff. By the end of first semester you’ll probably have some trouble drinking Powerade and Coke in a plastic bottle due to your brain's association of those drinks with some of the worst vodka north of the Mason-Dixon line. All part of the experience.

If there’s an obvious odd man out in a forced triple, make him feel uncomfortable, smoke him out and give yourselves some room for activities.

Nothing defines a man's net worth at college more than X-Box ability and hat collection.

Every fan not called Vornado is fighting for second place.

If you're printing 100 pages of history slides, just be aware of the fact that everyone waiting wants to kill you in cold blood.

BCPD and ResLife are going to frustrate you. Don't let them break you.

Find a TV series on Netflix or DVD or online and learn to love it.

The single most important cord you can bring to school is one that hooks up your computer to your TV. HBO Go has only made that less disputable.

Guys: your stock will never be lower than it is right now, hang tough. Girls: Your stock will never be higher than it is right now, don’t leave your drinks unattended.

The BC movie channel is the gift that keeps on giving.

If someone pushes a floor other than 4 on a Hillside elevator, stare at them like they killed your dog.

Don't do the readings. There is always another way.

Take it from someone with only 5 left, Saturdays are special and should be made the most of.

Find a 21-year-old that looks like you and get a duplicate of their I.D. This is an important one.

Be nice to your janitor. You'll understand soon.

Do not feel the need to stand in the student section for every minute of every football game.

Ask older people about classes because college is 90% scheduling. The right class and the right professor are everything.

If you bring a Bob Marley poster it better be a unique one I've never seen before.

Hold in high value the kid who has an older brother in an off-campy house or mod.

Establish an early understanding of all elevator locations around campus.

Don't walk into class with a longboard.

Superfan shirts are kosher for gamedays, sleeping, and the occasional plex visit. Only.

Share notes and old tests with one another. We're all in this together.

Hockey bags are a dead giveaway for smuggling bronsons into freshman dorms. Get creative. And know your rights when it comes to searches. And remember that you're faster than they are.

Don't not pre-game Convocation.


  1. Do not feel the need to stand in the student section for every minute of every football game.

    come on boys, our student section is already pathetic, don't ruin 2015. maybe being a hardcore fan isn't as bro, but i'd rather not be "cool" and have a respectable presence at games than be too cool and be a national joke

  2. -Get involved. Every group on campus throws down, whether it's the club soccer team or the knitting club.

    I really fucking love the comment about the elevators. Solid.

  3. dude it's the culture of the school, bc football is tailgate first, football second. this isn't the sec. if defilipo and spaz start putting a good product on the field then they'll get crowds in the stands

  4. what good recruit in his right mind is gonna come to this school if our fans blow..

  5. Good recruits don't come here because BC expects their athletes to graduate which, in this day and age, is an unrealistic expectation for these kids. A lot of these phenomenal athletes come from poor upbringings and do absolutely the right thing and leave school early to make serious money to take care of their family and themselves. If BC wants to be nationally competitive, they should drop this expectation. Seeing as that BC is a Jesuit school, they won't be changing their policy anytime soon, and they are also in the right. Student fans should appreciate the great athletes they do get to witness play. Guys like Matt Ryan, Herzlich, Reggie Jackson, etc.