Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Happy Thursday!

Anybody know what this day is? This is Thursday. This is when they fight the battle of Thursday. Fifty thousand men died right here on this night, fighting the same fight that we are still fighting amongst ourselves today. This weeknight right here, painted red, bubblin' with the blood of Sophomore boys. Smoke and Rubinoff pouring right through their bodies. Listen to their souls, men. I killed my mixie with malice in my heart. Hatred destroyed my 'ruit game. You listen, and you take a lesson from the dead. If we don't come together right now on this hallowed night, we too will be destroyed, just like they were. I don't care if you like each other or not, but you will respect each other. And maybe... I don't know, maybe we'll learn to play this Thursday like men.

Where Are They Now? - UPS Whiteboard Legend

To be honest I don't really care where Andy Azula is anymore. He took the best years of my life and then broke my heart. Some call me a fool for ever believing in the Kennesaw State grad, but damn he got me. The Richmond, VA resident was so smooth it was unfair. Then the commercials got ridiculous, and his drawings came to life on the whiteboard and turned into cartoons. That's when I realized that the former paste-up artist was nothing but a great big phony. I had been jobbed, and the months that followed were somber times. I just want to go back to the time before I knew he was fake. They shouldn't have made it so obvious. I'm sure some girls still throw their panties at the 45 year-old man (are the wikipedia facts helping?), but I am no longer one of the groupies. Gotta give it up for the flow, no matter how fake it may be, and the delivery (how bout that pun?) in those commercials was something special.

Top 500 Feelings - #127 Dominating Your Room Decorations

Few things reveal a man's character better than what he has on his walls. Street signs command respect but that respect is based on the sign's overall quality. For example, a "No Parking" sign is a whole lot different than an Augusta National "No Women's Bathrooms" sign. Beer posters are fine, but be weary of generic ones.

I think the key to room decor is accessories, not posters. Think old hockey sticks, boxers that your roommate peed, previous write-ups, old volcano bags, christmas lights (are those kosher with ResChafe?), that sort of thing. Not to knock posters, there are obviously plenty of gems out there, but accessories generally bring a story along with them.

Finishing the perfect decoration job on a room gives a man a sense of accomplishment rivaled by few others. If you've got a set up around BC you think we might wanna take a look at, send a pic to

Top 500 Feelings - #191 Finishing Laundry

If there's a greater chafe out there than laundry, then it's got to be malaria. Back in the day when mom would collect your lights and darks, life was good. Now all she can do is keep you stacked with Eagle Bucks and teach you how to fold. Laundry is such a long process I can't stand it. Going down to the room, dropping your shit in, loading the machine with detergent courtesy of whoever left their Tide 5-gallon tub there, going back up to your room, thinking about what to do for ten minutes, getting halfway through doing it for 20 minutes, go back down, load the clothes in the dryer, clean the lint screen (yeah I actually do), go back up, suck a pouch and listen to Colin Cowherd explain why the MLS is better than the NFL, go back down, and then fold, which is probably the worst part of this process.

Folding your last tee is like finishing a marathon, but before that time comes I just feel like this guy the whole way.

See some of the other Top 500 Feelings here. Send your own to

This Is Broston College

Everyone's dream/nightmare

Monday, September 26, 2011

Ozzie Guillen Traded Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was traded to the Marlins for two minor league players, according to a source close to the situation. Guillen gathered his players before Monday's game against the Toronto Blue Jays and told them that it would be his final one, according to sources close to the situation.

First of all I didn't even know coaches could get traded. Kind of a smack in the face for a guy like Ozzie to be sent to a lowlife franchise like the Marlins for the measly sum of two minor leaguers. I still can't decide if like Guillen or not, but he certainly is entertaining (the same goes for Ochocinco and Ron Artest). Happy trails to Old Man McKeon.

Meet Mister Cobble

Mister Cobble is the coolest name I've heard in a while. He was shining on the defensive line for Kentucky on Saturday night during their 48-10 loss (probably should have lost by more). He was academically ineligible in 2010, but looks to make a big name for himself this year for the Cats. With a name like that, I know I'll be pulling for him.

Catching Hell

Tomorrow at 8 on the Worldwide Leader in Sports. Sorry for never posting.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Cam Newton's Moon Boots

Trying to cop me some before intramurals start.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


It's been a while since we've played. For all you froshies out there, the game is simple - name the college that each athlete attended. Answers are under each picture.

Jamal Charles

Metta World Peace

Dan Marino

Chris Bosh

Kenny Britt

Vincent Jackson

Monday, September 19, 2011

Let's Ask the Question That Must Be Asked

Will football win one game this year?

If they don't win this weekend, I don't see them winning at all. And don't look now, but UMass is 2-0. Sure, they beat Holy Cross and URI, but we scored 3 points against UCF so... Hopefully the home field advantage gained by the nationally unparalleled rowdiness of the Superfans will help us bring home a W.

Let's talk about the Duke Incident. Many will be quick to point fingers at Nate Freese (understandably) but Freese is actually a very talented kicker who, believe it or not, has a chance to be playing on Sundays in the future (yeah I just said that). Granted, Freese missed a tap-in from 23, but all kickers have horrible flubs in their careers. The Cowboys' Dan Bailey missed a 21-yarder this weekend, and though very rare, PATs will get missed in the NFL from time to time. More importantly, as The Heights' Paul Sulzer pointed out, the kick should have never been taken from such a horrible angle. BC was already on the left side of the field and yet they proceeded to run the ball to the left again. Why not run to the right to center the ball and not leave Freese with an extremely diagonal kick? Almost as tough as trying to bank in a jumpshot from the baseline. It's weird that losing gets me more fired up about BC football then winning does.

While I thought Sulzer's article was really on point, I could not be more opposed to Matt Belnap's plea for more dedicated fans. This completely unrealistic plan, which essentially asked the student body to spontaneously and immediately feign excitement about our team, is completely flawed. Winning produces fans, not the other way around. Proposals like Belnap's seem to come up at BC every year. It's not like everybody and their mother doesn't already know that better crowds will help recruiting, pump more energy into the stadium, etc. The thing is, at other schools, kids are genuinely really pumped for the games themselves and their Saturdays are made or broken by the result of the game. At BC, after a win or loss, the atmosphere on campus doesn't change at all. Blame it on our academic excellence (read: nerdy student body). Blame it on the school's rigid drinking policies (if we could tailgate on Shea all day and not just for 2-3 hours people would be more inclined to go into the game on time, and thus be more liquored up and louder). Blame it on us having no hope of reaching a legit bowl since a certain Falcon got drafted. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than for Alumni to be the loudest stadium in the ACC. The fact is, it can't just happen overnight. If Spaz and Co do their job right it will give us a reason to give a shit. Until then catch me on Shea til the boys in blue ask for my Eagle ID.

This Is Broston College

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't chafe.

More to come.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Ski And Snowboard Club Shirts On Sale Monday

These puppies go on sale this week - Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday 6:00-8:00 in Lower, McElroy and Stuart. Thursday 6:00-8:00 in Lower and Friday 3:00-7:00 Mod 7A Shirts are $20 each and there is a very limited number so scoop them quick. And don't forget to reserve your spot for the Freshman Trip to Quebec in January.

Friday, September 16, 2011

BostInnovation Article

A journal other than The Heights has now written an article on us, don't ask me why. Thought it was pretty good until I saw them call me "Fatsby" and not Fratsby. Nothing like an eating disorder to make senior year more interesting I guess. Check it here. See you tomorrow night.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Happy Thursday!

Start at 0:58
"We talkin' about classes. Not a pregame, not a-not-not the postgame that I go out there and-and die for, and chay every Thursday like it's my last, not the postgame. We talkin' about classes, man. I mean, how Singler is that man? We talkin about classes. I know I'm supposed to be there I know I'm supposed to lead by example, I know that. And I'm not, I'm not shoving it aside like it don't mean anything. I know it's important. I do, I honestly do. But we talkin' about classes, man. What are we talking about? Classes? We talkin' about classes, man. We talk-we talkin' about classes. We talkin' about classes. We ain't talkin' about spittin' game, we talkin' about classes, man, when you come into Copperfield's, and you see me chay, you see me chay don't you? (Absolutely) You see me get everything they got don't you? (Absolutely) We talkin' about classes right now."

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

"I'm CEO" Party W/ CEO4Teens This Saturday

We've teamed up with CEO4Teens, a non-profit run by BC Junior Brooks Dyroff, for a party at Copperfield's Bar this Saturday. All proceeds from the night will be going to CEO4Teens in an effort to Create Educational Opportunities for less fortunate teenagers around the world.

The money raised will help sponsor a student for one year of English and Computer Skills class in Indonesia, a donation that will increase a family's income by up to 10 times of what they were previously making. Raised funds will also sponsor students in Boston for scholarships to obtain their GED.

Tickets are $10. Included in that is a pair of complimentary "I'm CEO" shades and Sam Adams deals because they're sponsoring the night. I'm CEO+Broston College+Sam Adams shirts will be on sale for $5 and tossed out at our discretion. Musical acts and DJ are a surprise. We trust you to trust us in creating a great D floor environment.

21+ and proper ID required at the door.

Get in on this great cause and shitshow of an evening by buying tickets online here:

If you're buying tickets for multiple friends make sure to enter their names because there will be a guest list. Make sure the name on the guest list matches the name on the ID.

Underrated: Your Highness

I just recently watched this flick. I was more than satisfied. A few parts were a little too much for me but Mcbride definitely had me laughing throughout the film. I feel like it got a bad rap when it came out in theaters but give it a second chance. Here is one of the funnier scenes for those of you that didn't see it.

Baby Chafe - Machine Not Accepting Your Dollar

We get it, it's crumpled, but thats no excuse not to take it. I'm not jamming in a counterfeit one dollar bill. It's a dollar. All I want is my charlie card so I can catch the T that is about to pull away. When I put my dollar in and think I'm home free, don't spit that shit back out. You take your money and give me my Chuckie Card. And don't tell me what side has to be facing up either, figure it out.

This Is What a 502 Ft. Home Run Looks Like


Monday, September 12, 2011

Baby Chafe - Deodorant Skid Marks

Sucks to soil the 177th top feeling with something usually only used to enhance it. You know the drill: it’s Thursday, so you change into something that screams “I’m 21” before heading to Copperfield’s. You stick some Aqua Reef on you and you’re ready to go. At the last possible moment you notice a white stain on the side of your shirt (like the chick in the picture). Who it is, how it got there, we do not know. All that can be confirmed at that moment is that the stain simply won’t cut it. What a waste. It’s not that there isn’t something else in your wardrobe that can replace your current shirt, it’s just a hassle to do so. Part of the reason is that the stain isn't immediate. It starts off faint, and doesn't blossom into a distraction until you're in your pregame. Also, this rarely happens, so when it does you’re caught off (Right) guard. Most deodorants don’t ever do this; when you switch up your deodorant game is when this happens. Sometimes you plow through the adversity, trying to ignore the splotch of sadness for the duration of the night. But with every encounter that night you know that you’re not at your best. You can see the little bastard smiling at you. It’s a spawn of Singler, and it doesn’t want you to succeed. I’ll figure you out one day, but I’ll never let you take a Thursday from me.

Chafe - No Data Available

You really don't know what you got 'til its gone. My only question is where the fuck does the available data go to? Did some intern forget to push a button that morning because he was out too late with the fellas at Copperfields? I've notcied I tend to lose data on Fridays more than other days. Every time my data isn't available I try and think back to what life was like before channel surfing became second nature. It must have been a dark time where everybody wore Fila and worshiped BBMak. When you don't know what you want to watch, and you don't know what's on, you usually resort to just flipping aimlessly through the channels praying you don't stop on Nascar Now or even worse, a commercial with Flo. That's the danger of no data being available. You have to grind out commercials to see what show/movie is actually on the channel (assuming you know what channel you're even on (why don't all hotel rooms provide data?)). Sometimes your data comes back quickly, other times you deal with no available data for days. Appreciate your available data today, you never know when she is going to leave you again.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

9/11 Gloves and Cleats

A lot of players will be rocking these tomorrow. I think it's fair to say that there are going to be some unbelievable flyovers/anthems that give us all the chills.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Ski and Snowboard Club

Today is the day all of the involved students at the school try to recruit freshman for their clubs by sitting behind a table throwing jolly ranchers or blasting techno or both. There is no longer a dustbowl so I don't even know where this cluster fuck takes place anymore. Ski and Snowboard is the only club to have been banned from BC sponsorship. I think that's a pretty solid selling point. This is not to be confused with UGBC-run Snowjam/Shred White and Blue, which I think Singler runs. The Ski and Snowboard Quebec trip will literally change your life, and that one weekend alone is worth signing up.

The Facebook group for the club can be found here:

Instant Classic

If you coach at Coastal Carolina you have to make a name for yourself one way or another. Legendary.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Happy Thursday!

"I'm fresh dog! Don't ask me if I'm chafed! Hell naw! Jenkems said dominate and we not doin' it! I put my heart into Thursdays! Let's go mayne!"

Where Are They Now? - This Sound

This sound got me going back in the 3rd grade era. It only meant a couple things: I was either about to have interaction with my "gf" for the first time in a couple days (even though she was in my class) or I was about to draw up the weekly plans with my crew to ditch Micah or Noah after school the following day. Mom needed to use the phone? That could wait, this couldn't. Whenever I heard the beeping (circa 0:13 in the video) I'd know I was almost there. Quick check of the friends online (they were all on there because it was pre-coordinated), scope out the girls' profiles, filled with their friends initials and hearts, edit my profile (Screenname: baseballfanatic3426157 Age: old enough Sex: Good), then it was time to get it going. This sound brings me back.

The Chalkboard Rundown

Sportscenter brought "The Rundown” to the left side of the screen to show viewers what’s coming after the over-speculation on Manning’s neck, and I gotta tell ya, it keeps me tuned. It’s reminiscent of the old days. Middle-school thrived on it, high-school featured it, and I’ve missed it at the Heights--until now. When teachers would write the day’s agenda on the board, the class would scope it out and if “Hand in Homework!” was anywhere on that board, you knew someone wasn’t making it through the class. Out of those of us who stuck it out, there were some who spent the first 40 minutes of class drafting excuses in our notebooks, some to more avail than others. Others would find a bro who had completed the assignment and pass it around to complete during class, but those kids sometimes got nabbed. Either way, it was a good warning to have, and the times you came out on top were followed by celebrations. It’s always better to cheat the system and get away with it than to do what’s asked. That’s what I know, that’s how we live.

I’ve had this class twice here now, and both times the full-blown agenda was on the board. The PEPS didn’t mention this, but there was mention of the sporadic homework collection. I’m a betting man, so I’m gonna love taking my chances.

I know I’m pissing into the wind if I think the man’s gonna write “Homework Collection” on the board, but it’s still a great tool to use in fighting the great fight: in fighting the grind. Classes are long in the first week, but this one is particularly so. It’s brutal, but having the chafe list up there is great because as I tune in and out, I realize what bullet number we’re at on the board. This gives me hope, especially in a no lap-top class, that we are in fact getting closer.

Top 5 - Inventions of Our Generation

according to Lieutenant Jenkems:

i. iPhone

I'd be lying to myself if I didn't slot this baby in at number 1. The iFresh is the most used tool I've seen in the past 10 years. It solves any argument (sports/chicks) where both parties are too stubborn and need statistical evidence to support their drunken epiphany rants.

2. This thing (pin impression toy)

Tell me the last time you've seen one of these laying around in your reach and didn't play with it for even a second. It feels good, looks fresh and absolutely has your full attention for at least a minute. The guy that invented this makes the post-it note guy look like a nobody. I cant remember the last basement I hung out in that didn't have one laying around. Kudos to the innovator that saw this vision.


A game that says a lot about your character. Hierarchies are relevant in the game of ones and friendships are born in the game of twos. Kids get more serious playing this game than they do filling out tax forms. There aren't that many better feelings out there then heartbreaking a kid in the 120' to avenge a rough loss from the night before when your friend has been chirping like Albert McChirpenville (what?).

4. Chaco Taco

'Nuff said

5. Sparknotes

The savior of time. The savior of stress. The savior of life. Sparknotes revolutionized the game and middle school teachers haven't been able to adjust ever since. The summarization's are getting better and they are prepping us for any curveballs a pop quiz would throw at us. Its scary to think what I would get for some of the sites that make you pay 5 bucks a month (I'm looking at you kid who did it one time in a desperate attempt).

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I Don't Get It

Shamrock tattoos. Masshole accent. Masshole music. Eagles jerseys? What?

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Celine Dion's House Got Broken Into...

A 36-year-old man has been charged after he allegedly broke into singer Celine Dion's home near Montreal, raided the fridge and even took the time to pour himself a bath, police said Tuesday.

He was nabbed by police in the Montreal suburb of Laval on Monday afternoon after the alarm system went off.

Laval police spokesman Franco Di Genova said the suspect was getting ready to take a nice hot bath when police arrived with a canine unit.

"He opened the water faucets, was pouring a nice warmish bath (and) he even managed to eat some pastry that was in the fridge," Di Genova said.

"The suspect was coming down the big staircase and was asking: 'Hey, guys what are you doing here?'," Di Genova said.

"So the officers replied: 'What are you doing here?' and they proceeded to put him under arrest."

Di Genova said the man had jumped a fence to get on the property and used a garage door opener that he found in an unlocked vehicle to gain access to the luxury residence.

Daniel Bedard, a Laval resident, was arraigned Tuesday on charges including breaking and entering, auto theft and causing property damage.

Let's give credit where credit is due: this guy can party. However, if I were to break into someone's house who has an estimated worth of $320 million, I don't think I'd head for the bath. I'd probably just do a panty raid then get the fuck out of there, something along those lines. Gotta love his reaction to the cops showing up.