Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Your friend has just dialed in two straight LMFAO songs at your pregame so you decide to take matters into your own hands. You approach the faded blue iPod Nano that has been stained with the drops of a previous day's chay. You start scrolling through their songs, noticing a lot that you hate and a few you had on your old computer that you haven't heard in a while (Gossip Folks). Then you find your gem, some Avicii joint guaranteed to make clothes start falling off and Natty's start flying. Oh shit, you just accidentally selected that Eddie Vedder song from Into the Wild. You're forced to make a public apology and blame the incident on your lack of dexterity, but no one's really listening to a word you say until they hear the guy say "I can't stop-stop-stop-stop-stop-stop" at the start of "Who Gon Stop Me"
Monday, August 22, 2011
Preseason is a time for me to build up an unreasonable amount of hope in all my teams. I chalk up all preseason mistakes to "oh, he's just a little rusty" or "once they get their chemistry together, we'll be fine." Athletes don't get rusty and fuck chemistry. It's an optimistic time of year, the time before your team goes and shoots themselves in the leg. Preseason is not the time where you're looking forward to next year's draft, at least not until your roster gets depleted with injuries. Monday night the Giants were chafed with the season-ending injury of Terrell Thomas. For those of you keeping score at home, that's the fourth injury to the Giants secondary. Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox (Side-note: why do I like watching ACL injuries? Is something wrong with me?). Danny Woodhead is still feeling the effects of this hit from his most recent preseason schrimmage, but he'll be back out there next week giving hope to the unlikely athletes among us. At least Herzlich got his interception, and his spin-move after was something that can only be learned in a mod.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
SYDNEY - An Australian man had his driving license suspended for 10 months and was fined after he was caught driving a scooter made of a motorized beer cooler capable of carrying several dozen drinks -- after knocking back a few.
The unconventional scooter featured a cooler box mounted on a wheeled frame and powered by a 50 cc engine, complete with a steering handlebar. The cooler doubled as a driver's seat and was able to hold up to 48 bottles of beer.
Chris Petrie, 23 and from the northeastern state of Queensland, bought the vehicle over the Internet for $A600 ($630). While assembling it at a friend's house the two sampled a few beers before Petrie decided to drive it home, according to a local television station.
"By the time we built it, it was quite late so we thought we'd go for a bit of a test run," he told Network Ten.
He was caught by the police en route and found to be more than three times over Australia's legal blood alcohol limit, and was charged with drink driving and driving without a license.
In court, the judge asked if the cooler was fully loaded and was told it was full of canned rum and Cokes, Network Ten added. The sentence included an A$500 fine.
(Reporting by Pauline Askin, editing by Elaine Lies)
Just two bros with the drive to accomplish an idea that can only be the product of a flight school talk, that's the stuff heroes are made of. Couple that with the accent, and you got yourself a bro-you-should-know type of guy.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Well scumbags, we've almost made it. The internship grind is over, leaving us with nothing but a bitter taste of what the apocalypse (graduation) has in store for us. The post-internship/pre-syllabus week period is a meager time. Most local friends are starting to ship back to their degenerate schools, leaving the last of us back home with nothing to do but wait for the return to the heights. Before that return, I'll spend my time going out to lunch and dinner with relatives to whom I have nothing to say, doing sudokus, and being hassled by my mom about various things. I hate when she asks me when the last time I went to church was. "What the hell, mom? You were there, don't you remember? Christmas." Oh well, the beginning is in sight. Stay low, keep those feet moving. See you back in the fratmosphere. Countdown to the grand opening of Chay Field: 18 days. Time to start tapering.