Thursday, August 25, 2011

Fresh 3D Art

CT Still Hurting People

Talk about a guy that just refuses to go away. Still a Masshole, still certifiably insane, still making a living off of Real World/Road Rules challenges. Not sure how he didn't land a role in "The Town".

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Chafe - Accidentally Picking the Wrong Song

Your friend has just dialed in two straight LMFAO songs at your pregame so you decide to take matters into your own hands. You approach the faded blue iPod Nano that has been stained with the drops of a previous day's chay. You start scrolling through their songs, noticing a lot that you hate and a few you had on your old computer that you haven't heard in a while (Gossip Folks). Then you find your gem, some Avicii joint guaranteed to make clothes start falling off and Natty's start flying. Oh shit, you just accidentally selected that Eddie Vedder song from Into the Wild. You're forced to make a public apology and blame the incident on your lack of dexterity, but no one's really listening to a word you say until they hear the guy say "I can't stop-stop-stop-stop-stop-stop" at the start of "Who Gon Stop Me"

Monday, August 22, 2011

Where Are They Now? - Danny Almonte

Ohhhhhh Danny Boy, you really thought you had us didn't you? I'm guessing most of you remember this flame-throwing "12-year-old." In the 2001 Little League World Series, Almonte was ruthless. He threw a perfect game in the Regional Finals to send his Hard Ball-esque squad from the Bronx to Williamsport and threw another perfecto in a round-robin game four days later. He finished the 2001 tournament with 62 strikeouts (out of 72 batters faced), giving up only three hits in three starts. He was 5-foot-9 and hurling 75 mph. Not suspicious at all in hindsight.

The only reason Almonte, G-Baby and the rest didn't win the whole thing is because Danny wasn't allowed to pitch in the championship game due to Little League regulations. Probably the only rule he followed when it was all said and done. It was later discovered that Almonte was born in '87 and not '89 and had only arrived from the DR on June 15 of that year. In the end, both facts disqualified him, though just one would have been sufficient. The aftermath of this incident is where things get comical (if you think a life spiraling into a pit of despair is comical). He played in high school and had brief stints with the Southern Illinois Miners of the Frontier League and the Division II Junior College (yes, the famed NJCAA DII) Western Oklahoma State Pioneers. Turns out he wasn't stellar when the other kids were his age. The two most interesting tidbits: In September 2005 (when he was 18), he married a 30-year-old. Let's not not give credit where credit is due. Also, in early 2005, Danny moved to the Miami area, where he did not play baseball. You just can't help but wonder what he did instead.

Last night I found myself feeling a little jealous of Danny. I would have really enjoyed mowing down helpless Japanese 12-year-old after Japanese 12-year-old. Nothing racial, I simply despise the way they curve their hats.

P.S. Almonte is now a volunteer assistant coach at James Monroe High School. So he's got that going for him.

Chafe - Preseason Injuries

Preseason is a time for me to build up an unreasonable amount of hope in all my teams. I chalk up all preseason mistakes to "oh, he's just a little rusty" or "once they get their chemistry together, we'll be fine." Athletes don't get rusty and fuck chemistry. It's an optimistic time of year, the time before your team goes and shoots themselves in the leg. Preseason is not the time where you're looking forward to next year's draft, at least not until your roster gets depleted with injuries. Monday night the Giants were chafed with the season-ending injury of Terrell Thomas. For those of you keeping score at home, that's the fourth injury to the Giants secondary. Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox (Side-note: why do I like watching ACL injuries? Is something wrong with me?). Danny Woodhead is still feeling the effects of this hit from his most recent preseason schrimmage, but he'll be back out there next week giving hope to the unlikely athletes among us. At least Herzlich got his interception, and his spin-move after was something that can only be learned in a mod.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Meet the Sharks

Oklahoma's DB's...aka The Sharks. Stuff like this makes me want to be athletic so bad.

At least I've got my go-to D-Flo move for the 2011 Fall season:

Spitter of the Week: Duck

Not a real duck but still respectable.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Broverseas News

SYDNEY - An Australian man had his driving license suspended for 10 months and was fined after he was caught driving a scooter made of a motorized beer cooler capable of carrying several dozen drinks -- after knocking back a few.

The unconventional scooter featured a cooler box mounted on a wheeled frame and powered by a 50 cc engine, complete with a steering handlebar. The cooler doubled as a driver's seat and was able to hold up to 48 bottles of beer.

Chris Petrie, 23 and from the northeastern state of Queensland, bought the vehicle over the Internet for $A600 ($630). While assembling it at a friend's house the two sampled a few beers before Petrie decided to drive it home, according to a local television station.

"By the time we built it, it was quite late so we thought we'd go for a bit of a test run," he told Network Ten.

He was caught by the police en route and found to be more than three times over Australia's legal blood alcohol limit, and was charged with drink driving and driving without a license.

In court, the judge asked if the cooler was fully loaded and was told it was full of canned rum and Cokes, Network Ten added. The sentence included an A$500 fine.

(Reporting by Pauline Askin, editing by Elaine Lies)


Just two bros with the drive to accomplish an idea that can only be the product of a flight school talk, that's the stuff heroes are made of. Couple that with the accent, and you got yourself a bro-you-should-know type of guy.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Perimeter Weeks of Summer

Well scumbags, we've almost made it. The internship grind is over, leaving us with nothing but a bitter taste of what the apocalypse (graduation) has in store for us. The post-internship/pre-syllabus week period is a meager time. Most local friends are starting to ship back to their degenerate schools, leaving the last of us back home with nothing to do but wait for the return to the heights. Before that return, I'll spend my time going out to lunch and dinner with relatives to whom I have nothing to say, doing sudokus, and being hassled by my mom about various things. I hate when she asks me when the last time I went to church was. "What the hell, mom? You were there, don't you remember? Christmas." Oh well, the beginning is in sight. Stay low, keep those feet moving. See you back in the fratmosphere. Countdown to the grand opening of Chay Field: 18 days. Time to start tapering.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Bryce Harper Gets Tossed

Can't help but feeling he did this to put out a tough-guy persona. He clearly knew it was a strike - didn't drop the bat as he was walking, took 6-year-old fat kid trudges toward first. Sick helmet spike you clown. And if you're gonna get in the ump's face it has to be the first thing you do. You can't ease up to him step by step. Come on, a little etiquette please. This video peaks with the strikeout call though, sweet Jesus those are some pipes the ump has.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

A Word of Advice - Go to Jack in the Box

Jack in the Box is one of those restaurants that's more common in some places than others, like Chick-Fil-A, White Castle, Sonic, etc. Sadly the closest one to school is in North Carolina. For those of you who have never been, imagine a better version of Burger King with tacos being the best thing on the menu. Anyway, I'm not a food critic - the main reason I'm putting in a good word for J in the B is because of their advertising. I feel the need to give the restaurant credit because, unlike any other restaurant, they are fully proud of the fact that they are a place that drunk/stoned kids flock to late at night. I wish other restaurants had honest advertising like this.