I had a solid crew when I was young, but these rascals put my crew to shame. They had meetings, they made cash, and boy they hated women. Spanky, Alfalfa, Stymie and the gang had something we all envied: a clubhouse. Moreover, they had order. They took an oath, and any member who broke the “He Man Woman Hater” oath was shunned. Damn they hated it when Alfalfa chose the ho over the bros. Where’s the crew now? Ironically, each one’s role as a women hater is probably the main thing they use to get chicks today
Bug Hall – Everyone knows that Alfalfa was soft. He broke the code, and almost broke up the group. But in the end he was a hero, and the crew’s meetings turned into make-out sessions. The clubhouse turned into a nice spot to take a chick. Bug Hall was in American Pie’s Book of Love, The Big Green, and Honey we Shrunk Ourselves, among other movies. Bug’s doing (relatively) alright.
Travis Tedford- Spanky was a man’s man. A stubborn little mastermind, he always had a game-plan. Spanky was the leader, mainly because he hated girls more than everyone else did. Since the '94 flick, Tedford made appearances in All That, Recess, A Bugs Life, and had a non-speaking cameo in an episode of Smart Guy. His best work was in the grape juice commercials. He nailed those. He graduated community college in Texas last year, and he’s just living like a normal dude. Probably rails a lot of chicks now, which is against everything he once stood for.
Ross Bagley – I always thought Buckwheat was a girl that the boys made an exception for because Porky convinced them to, but I guess I was wrong. Buckwheat and Porky were inseparable, and they were a great duo. Bagley later played Nicky Banks on Fresh Prince (solid) and was in Independence Day as well, among other things. He’s a senior at Cal St. Univetsity Northridge.
Courtland Mead – Uh-Huh was a yes man. He was the type of role-player that kept this group together. Mead later voiced Gud Griswold in Recess (really). If any of you could have called that I’ll buy you a thirty (not really).
Sam Saletta – Butch. Back when “jerk” was my go-to insult, Butch defined it. Such a bully, but he got his. Saletta later voiced Sam Squid on Rocket Power. He also had some role in 7th Heaven.
Blake McIver – I hated Waldo Aloysius Johnston III. McIver was later the voice of Eugene from Hey Arnold. A lot of sources say that the theater major is now gay, but he hasn’t confirmed or denied it yet.
Brittany Ashton Holmes – Darla hasn’t acted since 1996 when she was “The Girl on Boat” in Humanoids from The Deep. I never saw it but I bet she did an awful job. I resent that girl for almost breaking up the greatest group of friends to ever walk this Earth.
Their lives now aren't exactly what I thought they'd turn out to be. Most of them have been out of the biz since Y2K, but that doesn't change what they did for me when I was younger. That doesn't change who they once were. Stay strong crew: I'm sure at least one of you can fight your way up to being a D list celebrity one day.