Monday, May 9, 2011

The Tribes And Tribulations Of Finding A Good Study Spot

Well Day 1 has officially started. This is the time when girls get really serious (study guides become hard to get your paws on). The bad weather is almost a blessing in disguise. In my opinion it is much easier to study in the rain then it is to study in sunny 80 degree weather. With that being said, here are some words of wisdom on finding a good spot to study:

-Don't go to O'Neill. Plain and simple. You'll walk around for 30 minutes and find absolutely nothing. You wont even find a place on the ground to sit criss-cross apple sauce. Not only that, but the atmosphere in there is frightening. Everyone in O'Neill seems nervous, and I attribute that to all the young blood walking around. A clear rookie mistake to think you'll do a solid job studying in O'Chafe Library.

Upside: Printers
Downside: Claustrophobia
NBA Comparison: Eric Snow

-Find some comrades and get a classroom. Your study roster really only needs about 3 good starting pitchers. If one of them has a good curveball aka a car (off campus purposes) sign him. If one of them has a good fastball, aka a tin of skoal, bring him. What you bring to the table is heavily scrutinized when selecting a crew to hunt down a classroom (hunting down a classroom during finals week is as difficult as naming the starting rotation for the Pittsburgh Pirates). Keep your inner circle small. The more people you bring, the less focused you'll be.

-Get as many tables into a classroom as you can. Desks remind us of class, class reminds us of pain. What better way to work then to sprawl out all over a desk and sit in a chair that isn't attached to anything? If there are no tables, make a MegaDesk with as many as you can.

-Be prepared to fight. More than once have I seen a revolution started. A mutiny can take place at any time as classrooms and study spots switch leadership. Don't let a bunch of chicks take over your spot. Make them show you the teacher who they claim is holding a review session in the room. Don't give up your real estate without seeing cold hard proof. There are a lot of snakes out there and it's hard to trust people during finals week (never trust anybody with two first names either). On the contrary, if you are a real dick, you can sometimes overthrow a classroom, usually by bringing in a lot of peeps (not the mallows) and being noisy you can run some squids out of the room. Make sure to half mass the flag so everyone knows the room has been taken over.

-Don't reveal your spot too early. People love to mooch off kids with classrooms. There are usually two outlets per room, so keeping a 4 person cap is ideal. Though of course you need reserves in case anyone gets injured (i.e. carpel tunnel syndrome).

-Get sleazy. Sleaze wins championship during finals week. I found myself in an ERC study room yesterday. I didn't even know that place existed.

-Gotta hold court. You can't be locked up in a room forever (despite what that Asian girl in your Analytical Chemistry class might say) so make sure you leave in shifts or leave the right stuff behind if you all bounce to grub. No one steals anything on this campus (except for my bike and any sign that has the word Walsh on it).

Enjoy the grind.


  1. TRIALS and tribulations...

  2. ^ it's a play on words retard

  3. Pretty sure it's not a play on words. Or it it was they could have made it much more explicit.

  4. finals time always brings out the quality shit on this site

  5. "Or it it was"
    Comment 3: if you're going to criticize something like that, make sure you don't have any mistakes yourself. Now, not only are you a faggot, but you're also a hypocrite. Please refrain from making yourself such an easy target next time.

  6. I think everybody is gay except for me.

  7. Pirates Starting rotation:
    1)Kevin Correia
    2)Paul Maholm
    3)Charlie Morton
    4) James McDonald
    5) Jeff Karstens/Ross Ohlendorf (DL)

    boom. not that difficult

  8. muldo is a pussy