Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Sean Combs Up to His Usual Tricks
Admittedly I'm a little late on this (5 days but that's an eternity in internet years) but I could not let Sean Combs change his alias again without blogging about it. So his new name's Swag. Just Swag. Let that resonate for a minute.
Let me start by addressing the word "swag". I was almost sure this phrase had really seen the last of its days (along with: pwned, your mom, fail, that's what she said). I thought it was killed two years ago after Soulja Boy used it in his "half-fratbanger, half-headache", Turn My Swag On. I thought it was really killed when this Gatorade ad beat it to death by creating the word "re-swagger". I thought it was dead after Bieber started dropping it every other sentence (as much as that pleased Uncle Chafe). Even Michael Scott (R.I.P.) used swag in 2006. 2006. Come on Diddy. If a fictional manager of a fictional paper company based out of Scranton, PA is using slang half a decade before you are, you're probably not that legit anymore.
Let's ponder the fact that Diddy is only making his name "Swag" for one week. A few cardinal nickname sins are involved here. First and foremost, you never give yourself a nickname. Never. Second, if you get a nickname, no matter how you get it, it never has a time limit on it. That's the most preposterous thing I have ever heard of. If your fat buddy nicknamed "Chubs" loses ten pounds it's not like you're gonna stop addressing him by his given title. It just doesn't work that way. I mean, what if I decided to rename my dog every week? Quick answer: my dog would be extremely fucked in the head.
These goons with Diddy just can't get enough of the word. It's like they're being paid in blunts just to keep yapping it (not a far-fetched notion). In all honesty, I think the peak of Diddy's career was his appearance in Get Him to the Greek. He was in it for like ten minutes and killed it.