Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Talking On The Phone Next To Your Rents

I think it's pretty safe to say that ignorance is bliss when it comes to parenthood. Our parents know more than we think they know, but they also know less than they think they know (what?). Regardless, at one point or another you are going to get stuck talking on the phone with a buddy right in front of your parents. This could happen in the kitchen while you're meandering around the fridge, or if you're really unlucky, in the close confinements of a car. In this sticky situation, your friend on the other end of the line is letting it all fly while you're adapting your game to be as appropriate as you can. Your friend is obviously not around anyone with authority, talking like it's just a bunch of fellas sitting around on the couch playing 18 holes of Tiger at Augusta, with a few contraptions out in the open. They don't know the circumstance you're in so they ask unfiltered questions expecting R rated responses. Clearly you can't answer everything fully, but hopefully your friend is dishing out partial credit. You try and not make it seem obvious in front of your Mom what it is you guys are talking about and you're usually pretty blunt (Where are they now? - James Blunt) with your answers. Sometimes you'll even say something that is completely off topic just to throw your rents off track. A follow up text message almost always follows the conversation. You explain why you couldn't speak like the fratstar you are and the festivity planning is solved via text.


  1. this usually includes discreetly trying to turn your phone volume down. makes it so obvious though

  2. Mom overheard Highschool girlfriend busting me cheating on her. Ma not only learned I was fucking that day, but that I was doing more than the gf. My b

  3. yesss this is spot on....