Oldest trick in the book. Well, this and selecting all of the periods in your paper and making them size 14 font. Let's just say when I received my first "Cougar Life" e-mail asking me to confirm my status as a "cub", I knew something was afoot. The culprit couldn't have been more obvious, but the pussy fled abroad to Australia before I could make him feel the wrath of my 140 lb frame. But he gets the last laugh, doesn't he? I'm going to keep getting e-mails about being a cub until I go to Cougar Life and remove myself from the e-mail list, which will happen the Thursday after never. Touché La Fleur.
P.S. Who on God's green earth describes themselves as an "Average" Cougar on a social networking website? Like those must be the nastiest 60-year-old creatures alive. Or they're just trying to be honest. Probably both.