Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Chafe - Coffee Getting Stolen At Hillside

This one is for all you snakes out there. Going to class is hard enough. Going to class when you live off campus makes it nothing short of a miracle when it happens. How do we manage to get out of our queen size beds and commute all the way to campy? The magic juice that awaits us at Chillside. I don't know what makes it so good (seriously, it tastes the same as everywhere else on campus) but for some reason Hillside is the hot spot pre-noon. Everyone who is anyone is doing lines of caffeine off the hard-to-come-by-but-harder-to-give-up Hillside tables in the earlier hours of each day. Legend has it that they brew their own coffee in the basement of Conte Forum where few have ever stepped foot. With that being said, you can see just how precious this coffee is. If I have to make it all the way to Carney, expect a bolt in the morning for the espresso shot that can carry me the extra football field of walking.

But all too often have I witnessed Danny Ocean swipe my coffee. The mosh pit that forms around the counter causes a lot of confusion, but you know who you ordered before and you know who's notorious for sticky fingers. Some kids sit down then pull the casual 'walk up and take whatever coffee they see so it looks like they've been waiting for an eternity' move. With the IC being a pretty common drink, kids think it is ok to implement the first come first serve mentality. Not so fast amigo. I need that coffee more than you do and if you touch mine, I'll cut your hand off. Just because I'm not ordering these fancy drinks doesn't mean you have the right to take what's rightfully mine. Once my coffee goes I'm left standing there with the false hope that my magic juice is on its way. Too often have I had to skip a class just to wait the extra 10 minutes that I didn't factor into my travel plans for the morning. I for one am standing up for the common man who too many times has been taken advantage of in the Hillside Coffee line. Speak up and take what is rightfully yours. If you do a bad job adding the cream and sugar, well, only yourself to blame.


  1. Possibly the most flaming post ever.

  2. Yeah bro, hate when my skim sugar free vanilla latte gets taken.

  3. this post is fuckin gay