Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Baby Chafe - The Stand Off

This is a hard one to explain, and I get upset just thinking about it, so bear with me. It’s inevitably happened to everyone reading this blog, so meet me halfway here. You’re walking around a corner, and as you turn that corner, someone walking in the opposite direction appears right in front of you. You both come to a sudden halt just before you collide. You shuffle to the right quickly to get around the guy, but at the same time he shuffles right (your left), and you’re once again standing directly in front of each other, both semi-chafed. Instinctively, you shuffle the other way, but that doesn’t work either because that other guy made the same move, just in the opposite direction. Great minds think alike I guess. Not only are your movements the same, but they're made at the same time too. You just can't get any separation from this guy. All you were trying to do was get to class and you got stuck on Revis Island in the process. The stand-off continues until someone takes a step back (mentally or physically) and you both walk around each other. By that time, there have been a few awkward laughs, maybe even a comment thrown in, and a loss of dignity. The wind has been taken out of your sails.

After every one of these encounters, I come up with a solution. I always say that next time, I’m gonna remain calm, stand still, and let my mirroring fellow walk around me. When the time actually comes, though, it all happens so fast that I panic. I panic and I revert to the shuffling strategy, which never works. To end this baby chafe, I propose this: every time this happens from here on out, just challenge the guy to a shin kick-off.


  1. fuck kronum, lets get shin kicking as an IM sport

  2. Yeah, I don't think I've ever been able to keep my cool in that situation. What's worse is that while you're shuffling sideways you're usually stepping forward a little bit and then you're getting closer and closer until you're awkwardly touching.