Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Where Are They Now? - Choker Necklaces


Back in the day (I’m talking elementary school), it didn’t take much for a girl to grab my attention. If she wasn’t huge, she was an automatic 6. If she had long hair, that brought her up to a 7 at least. From there, it was all about popularity. What made a girl popular other than looks? Style and attitude. Even if a girl was skinny with long hair, I wasn’t chasing her if she didn’t have a choker necklace. If she rocked the choker necklace, I dreamed about unfreezing her in a fresh game of freeze tag during morning recess. I wanted to walk her home from school if and only if her neck was covered by that twisting piece of plastic. It's hard to believe that a single accessory was such a deal-breaker, but it was. Life was simple back then: wake up, race to school, some simple multiplication, play running bases or pick-up football, eat, scope out the choker necklaces, try to impress the girls with said necklaces, spread rumors about who liked who, cry after losing in gym class, color inside the lines, then go home and get a neighborhood game of cops and robbers or manhunt going.

Life was also socially simple. A girl was either skinny or fat: there was no other distinguishing feature about her body. Because of that, guys had no choice but to scope out the neck. And I’d be damned if a rumor spread about me liking a girl who didn’t sport one of those bad boys. I don’t think that I’ve ever encountered an Aphrodisiac as strong as a choker necklace. Back in the day when I’d think about my perfect wife, she definitely would have been rocking a choker at the altar. Now they sit in the shadow of society. Someone out there, please bring these back. I miss them.

10 comments:

  1. Has to be an intern post.

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  2. hahaha great fucking post broston

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  3. were you turned on by the goth make up and spike boots that usually accompanied said necklace?

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  4. well we know uncle chafe likes nose ring girl

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  5. great post until "please bring these back. I miss them." fucking kidding me

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  6. stoop kid you suck

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  7. YO, what up. That's a very good story. My 2 girls are always wearing chokers. It's hot!!
    Anyways, you can still get them very easily. Here is the website that still makes them on a regular basis. Hope this helps
    www.beadcreation.com

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  8. I wear choker necklaces. I wear them all the time. I love them and I don't think I'll stop wearing them any time soon. I'm glad to know that there is a guy that like them.

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  9. Lol i wore one today only cause i was cleaning and found it and it was like omg i have to wear this the memories. I wanted to buy more so i went to amazon i cant find them so i searched google i found 4 for $20 thats alot of money im pretty sure i got mine for $0.50 out of a gumball machine. I was dissapointed i agree they should come back they are cute and fun to play with so many uses. I was using mine as a necklace then i wanted my hair out of my face so i lifted it and it worked as the perfect headband. You can twist it as a bracelet also. I want more. :)

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  10. And person that said goth stuff you are wrong when they were popular they had all sorts of colors from white to red to black to pink to blue to yellow to my favorite in elementary school rainbow colored.

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