Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Where Are They Now? - Backyard Baseball

I'm not talking about the sport (how we should have spent our childhood), I'm talking about the computer game (how we did spend our childhood). Backyard Baseball was a flawless, damn near godly creation. Everything about it. The difficulty, the length of games, the level of addiction it produced. Everything. Maybe the most impressive part about the game was the fact that none of us found it odd that Jason Kendall was on the same team as a kid in a wheelchair.

Hands down the best part about this game were the characters. I could do a whole other "Where Are They Now?" on the washed-up has-beens the game used from the MLB. I'm talking about the fictional ones the creators supplied us with. Pete Wheeler. Good size, good speed, game smarts were always called into question but this goofy looking hick delivered. Kiesha Phillips. Think Frank Thomas meets Precious. Homegirl could embarrass a backyard pitching staff like no other. And then there was Pablo Sanchez. Could he have played any other sport but backyard baseball? The answer, excluding soccer, is no. Strike zone was the size of Singler's weiner. Baserunning skills were nothing short of illegal. Why the backwards hat? Just to get in pitcher's heads. The mind games this kid was playing make Brian Wilson look like Simple Jack.

I haven't played a computer game since and know for a fact that I never will again. What other game is gonna give me the enjoyment of hitting a groundball that literally plummets into the earth by first base and pops up 50 yards away in left field? The times I shared with the kids on that digital diamond will never be forgotten.

20 comments:

  1. I didn't realize til now that the blonde chick on the bottom left (next to the black kid) was a lesbian.

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  2. "strike zone the size of singler's weeny"

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  3. Bravo. I spent at least 50% of my elementary school career playing this. Pablo Sanchez was a boss.

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  4. KENNY YAMAGUCHI FOR THE FUCKING WIN.

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  5. post of 2011 thus far

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  6. This game, backyard football, and backyard soccer was my shit. It blew when that juice box ran out.

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  7. pablo was filthy in backyard football, he could play any position

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  8. BEST POST EVER. loved that game

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  9. BYSoccer all the way

    Wasn't aware there was a backyard football, but that would have fucking revolutionized my childhood

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  10. getting the aluminum bat power up was for sure a top 500 feeling back in the day. automatic moonshots.

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  11. Vinnie the Gooch was an absolute prick.
    The Crazy Bunt was goddamn useless.

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  12. Aluminum power was a top 10 feeling haha. And if you didn't have the khan bros on your team with Amir pitching (due to the skill increases he got from playing with his brother), then you were a fool

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  13. I pretty much stuck with Wheeler, Yamaguchi, and Sanchez. Yamaguchi could reliably throw a 1-hitter while Sanchez had 19 RBI's. I miss being 8.

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  14. posts like this affirm why you guys need a way of saying who wrote each one

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  15. remember how frank thomas was amazing at pitching? looking back, wtf?

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  16. I loved playing that game! I would always, always have Pablo, Kiesha, & Pete Wheeler on my team. They were the best of the best! I couldn't of put it in words any better than you have! And BackYard Baseball will always be my favorite cereal box game! Hahahaha!

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