Thursday, March 24, 2011

Chafe - The Awkward Turnaround


Scene: I’m walking down to Chillside from class thinking about God knows what when all of a sudden, somehow, a thought rushes into my head. I definitely left my notebook in Carney. Without even thinking, I pull a quick turn-around in O’Neill plaza. Upon completing the 180, I see a group of people who were walking behind me pre-turn. After making eye contact with them I continue walking and realize what a schmuck I must look like. That got me thinking: this is a lot harder to combat than it used to be.

In high-school, this chafe was avoidable. The move of choice was to just compose yourself, walk over to a locker and pretend it was yours until any witnesses had passed. Turning into a bathroom or finding a drinking fountain also avoided chafe. But it’s tough to look like you have a clue when you're out in the open with nothing to turn to. You can pull the iPhone out and act like you got a text telling you to meet somewhere. That never completely works, because people know something’s up. Another option is to just wear it and say an awkward comment after turning around. That’s really ill-advised, but some kids prefer it. You look like an idiot no matter what you do, so just keep that in mind. Whatever you do, don’t try to cover it up by explaining why you’re turning around. Then you not only look foolish, but you think people care. It’s a tough thing to master. It requires a certain kind of grace that is rare and acquired. Another option: just turn around and tell them to "huld muh dick."

3 comments:

  1. the hot streak continues. good shit.

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  2. Yeah fantastic stuff

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  3. 180...but chafe nonetheless

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