Zodiac Shit

So we got a reader e-mail from a girl in Florida (yeah, we're national, so what) telling us all about how the zodiac signs had changed and grilling us about why we hadn't posted about it. At first I had to think about what zodiac signs were. I mean, whenever the topic comes up I always just ask, "What's your thingy?" This was the first I'd heard of any of this palm-reading heeby-jeeby hogswash going and changing on us so I checked out the link she left us.

Surprisingly, it actually had an effect on me. I was blown away by what I read. I literally blurted out: "What the fuck? I'm a fucking Pisces now?" After my mom washed my mouth out with soap, the shock settled in. What did being an Aries mean to me? Very little. And by "very little", I mean the only way it affected me was that when buying lighters at 7-11, I would always grab the fresh Aries one with a picture of a blue ram on it. Needless to say it's gonna be more than a little awkward next time I walk in there and purchase a Pisces.

It's weird to say it but I'm actually bummed. First the new profile being forced upon us, now this? Come on God!

NEW ZODIAC SIGN CHART

Capricorn January 20- to February 16

Aquarius February 16 to March 11

Pisces March 11 to April 18.

Aries April 18 to May 13

Taurus May 13 to June 21.

Gemini June 21 to July 20

Cancer July 20 to August 10

Leo August 10 to September 16

Virgo September 16 to October 30

Libra October 30 to November 23

Scorpio November 23 to November 29

Ophiuchus November 29 to December 17

Sagittarius December 17 to January 20