Monday, January 24, 2011

What Kyle Singler Doesn't Want You To Know...

Over these past few years I've experienced quite a few surprises. They've ranged from learning Dumbledore had a sister to finding out Tiger birdied every "hole" he walked by on the sidewalk. But one thing that somehow slipped past me until just now has really rocked my world. Kyle Singler has a younger brother who is infinitely fresher than he will ever be, E.J. Singler. E.J. is a sophomore this year, balling at the University of Oregon. Boom. Talk about learning from someone's mistakes. I guess when Kyle Singler sold his soul to the devil, E.J. saw how hated one man could become. E.J. didn't want to be Steven Glansburg at lunch and E.J. didn't want to find himself leasing a Nissan Leaf. So instead of going to play at the Evil Empire, E.J. decided to flock to one of the freshest schools in the country. If you liked what the Ducks wore in the natty ship against Auburn, please check out their basketball gear. The shoes, the shorts, the jerseys. They mix and match every game and sometimes can make a grown man cry.

Not only did E.J. make the better call by staying in his home state to play for the Ducks, but E.J. also doesn't look like a serial killer. E.J. got the better DNA strands from his parents (Yes, the same parents who spawned Satan himself) and undoubtedly raked in more chicks growing up. It must have been hard for E.J. growing up with someone like Kyle. Family vacations must have been brutal and I'm sure in high school it was tough to shake the stereotypes that the Singler name carried. Whatever you did E.J., God bless you. If there were two Kyle Singlers running around, well, I'd probably be tried with attempted manslaughter. Stay fresh E.J. and remember to stay away from Kyle, he's a lost cause, don't let him bring you down with him.


  1. Attempted manslaughter isn't a real thing...just a tip from a Bro you should Know in law school

  2. Chafe - law school friends imposing new law school knowledge on you

  3. From Will Hanley
    I've heard from a pretty credible source that Kyle Singler blazes a bunch with Kyrie Irving