Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
WIMBLEDON, ENGLAND (AP)
Even the scoreboard couldn't keep up.
The electronic sign keeping track courtside as the points passed and the game totals rose went blank while 23rd-seeded John Isner of Tampa, Fla., and qualifier Nicolas Mahut of France played — and played and played — the longest match in tennis history, until action was suspended because of darkness at 59-59 in the fifth set Wednesday night at Wimbledon.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
So we're down at the Jersey Shore right now (shoutout to Beach Haven, LBI), and I've gotten iced 3 times in 24 hours. The picture is of the first one, the old "Uncle let's do rum and coke, will you grab the handle?" Then, in the dark of night, Notorious plants an ice in my car, left to bake all in the hot sun before I finally discovered it at 1 pm the following day. I'm not gonna bullshit you, that one hurt.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Congratulations vuvuzelas, you are Broston’s first audio-chafe. For those of you raising families in caves or under rocks for the last few weeks, these are the horns fans are blowing at World Cup games that are as smooth as jackhammers on the ears. There are so many things wrong with this year’s World Cup already-boring games, the ball, shitty refs, No Charlie Davies (or Cobi Jones), etc. The cherry on top is the addition of these godforsaken horns. I could give two shits if they’re a tradition in South Africa. You know what else is a tradition in South Africa? Apartheid.
The overly-energetic South African fans, who apparently have never attended any other sporting event in their life, think it’s okay to blow them for 90 straight minutes as if teams are scoring goals every 3 minutes. When teams do actually score, the stadium gets quieter because people stop doming up these horns and yell for once- but their vocal chords can’t compare to the octaves the vuvu’s hit.
So we are left with 3 options in terms of how to watch the World Cup. 1. We watch it on mute, and realize just how fucking boring soccer is to watch on TV. 2. We put it on mute, take out a nearby computer, head to YouTube and blast the volume on Wayne Rooney highlight tapes-whether they have commentary or a soundtrack is irrelevant. 3. Watch it on normal volume and realize you’d be having more fun hanging out in downtown Chernobyl in the mid 80’s – unless the US is playing in which case everybody plays the patriotism card and watches like it’s the 6 o’clock news on the day MJ died.
Don’t get me wrong-I love the World Cup. Almost everything about it - the opening ceremony, the rando’s upsetting powers, Alexi Lalas, Maradona, the Dutch uni’s, France and England’s absolute fuck-ups, the list goes on. But I just can’t deal with the vuvus.
*Disclaimer: You’re damn right I’d be blowing one if I was there.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
First off, I don't know why these things don't come built in to every car. The ultimate chafe, traffic, usually stems from the jam up at toll booths. We could potentially kill two birds with one (key)stone by making EZ passes mandatory in every car. What sucks is that you never realize you don't have an EZ pass until you start scrambling to find it driving up to the toll booth. The worst is when you even have the two sticker/velcro patches on your window, meaning you have an EZ pass but it's in a different car. Everyone this summer is going to have to go through a toll booth eventually, whether on a road trip or driving to work, so avoid the chafe by saving some cash and spending the monopoly money from the EZ pass (do our parents just get charged to their credit cards? How do these things even work?).
Friday, June 18, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
RENTON — Seahawks rookie Golden Tate was a little late for National Doughnut Day, which was last Friday.
And he arrived a little too early for Top Pot Doughnuts cafe in Bellevue. It doesn't open until 7 a.m. on Saturdays.
So when Tate and a friend found their way into the cafe at about 3 a.m. on Saturday, timing became a problem and precipitated a visit from the Bellevue Police officers and a warning for trespassing.
So Golden Tate gets drafted, thinks he's the shit, and assumes it's okay to break into doughnut shops at 3 a.m.? I'm pretty sure with the money this guy will be seeing over the next few years he could buy the store itself. The woman who witnessed the incident told the police that Tate and his friend were drunk and "being retarded." I wish this article included the details of how many doughnuts Tate stole so I could gauge just how stoned he was. There's no doubt in my mind that after dealing with the police Tate went upstairs with his buddies, turned on South Park and started tossing out questions like, "What if the world really isn't round?" and "How weird is deja vu, man?" All this would likely be followed with an hour long listen of MGMT/Bob Marley mashup remixes with the visualizer turned on on iTunes and further munching, this time of Cheez-It White Cheddars and Bugles Originals. Pete Carroll truly is running a tight ship over there for the Seahawks.
Good god that was impressive. Strasburg became the first pitcher to have 14 K's in 7 innings or less since 1969-yes, that stat includes people who had played in the MLB before. I was praying they'd leave him in but that was too much to ask from the Nationals, who only allow a certain amount of entertainment per game for their fans. Cheers Strazzy, see you out there.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Monday, June 7, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Rickie Fowler is a 20 year old currently turning heads in the professional golf world. There are plenty of good golfers out there that we could profile, so why would we choose Fowler? Simply put - his swag. No one else on earth could pull off the outfits that this guy does ("pulling off" and wearing are not the same thing, Ian Poulter). Fowler is the Ryan Sheckler of professional golf, but way less sensitive. A couple of years ago he was named the top player in the NCAA, the first freshman to ever gain the honor. What was he doing before golf? Fowls was a motocross racer and only quit after shattering his foot in an accident in 8th grade.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
For years I’ve been shown what a poison ivy plant looks like and been told I should be able to recognize one and stay away from it. Do you think I actually check plants before I venture into the woods to get the basketball that took a bad bounce in my driveway? Do you think I take leaf samples before running from the cops through random people’s backyards? Hell no. Poison ivy is something that just hits you when you least expect it and flat out sucks to have. Everyone is always hesitant that they are about to get poison ivy in uncharted territory but that never actually stops anyone from doing something. You just get the football, take the hit and hope the cream you put on it makes it go away quickly (especially before a Thursday night).Why does poison ivy even exist? Do people plant it? The itching, the redness, the chafe, none of it has any upside besides the fact that you can claim you were technically “poisoned.” The worst is when someone else spreads the poison ivy to you. As if it’s not bad enough that they got it, they share the wealth by making you suffer as well.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
And there goes one of the prettiest swings in baseball. We will never forget you Kenneth. On any given lonely day, I'd take one of your posters over a Playboy mag hands down.