Monday, November 22, 2010

Top 5 Hottest Characters According To: Uncle Chafe

5. Brooke ("The Break-Up")
Jen is always incredible, but in this above average, Vince Vaughn comedy she was firing 7 different kinds of smoke. The movie is mostly about her trying to impress other dudes, so all she does is crush dress after dress, scene after scene. Most importantly you get a naked back shot that just leaves you wanting to be a better man. She's aging like fine vino, and the fact that Mayer dated her automatically means she's good enough for me.

4. Kristen ("Laguna Beach")
Just a pure flamethrower. She was hot and she knew it. Season 1 of 'Guna documented Kristen's junior year in high school, so the answer is yes, we're talking about a complete, 100%, no-doubt-about-it illegal. In that year there's no way that Kristen wasn't in the top 5 of junior high school girls in the nation, right? Top 3? 1? I mean what 16-year-old could bring the noise like she could? The fact is, I'll always be jealous of Stephen, and the scary part is, he might have been hotter.

Molly ("She's Out Of My League")
If you ever give me any credit for anything I've ever done or written on this site, give it to me for this (honestly what a call). Has there ever been a more "If I stumble upon it on TV I'll watch it" movie in the history of movies? Just insanely mediocre. The dudes in this flick are basically a homeless man version of the Rogen/Jonah Hill crew, but this chick (I have no idea what the actress's name is nor have I seen her in anything else) is just outrageously, unfairly hot. Not to mention the character is cool as shit (Like we gettt ittt Molly you're fresh).

2. Tenley Parrish ("Summer Catch")
I'm obsessed with Beil. I don't like her, I don't like like her, I'm not in love with her. I'm obsessed with her. First let me give my props to whoever cast her for this roll. Cape League romantic comedy with Freddy Prince as the lead and you need the rich girl down the road for the love interest? Yeah, that's called nailing it. Not to mention the hottest name this side of Brooklyn Decker. If you're a brunette and you make this list, you're special. Biel's special.

1. Serena ("Gossip Girl")
When I started this Top 5 there was just no way she wasn't going to be 1. Everyone has a 1, she's mine. The Good Lord took his time with Lively. Blake, if you're reading this, I love you, and we belong together. Saying any more would be disrespectful.


1 comment:

  1. Any reason you didn't use this picture for Tenley Parrish....

    http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2001_Summer_Catch/jessica_biel_freddie_prinze_jr_summer_catch_001.jpg

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