Sunday, May 2, 2010

Where Are They Now - Crispy M&M's

Every once in a while something momentous happens, and the world is changed forever as a result. Off the top of my head, the OJ trial, the Clinton BJ-fest, Plaxico shooting himself, the Miley pregnancy rumor (would you rather slay Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana?), Tiger fucking the world, and the West Virginia Elite Eight run in '05 come to mind. But an occasion that stands head and shoulders above all of these epic instances is the day the Crispy M&M was introduced. In 1999, people all across the globe stared with wonder at a strange blue wrapper, curious as to what mysteries might lie beneath. Turned out they were the absolute shit, and for 6 glorious years life had a delicious crispy center. In 2005, this blow-job-in-a-bag was discontinued, chafing the entire human race. But wait, in the 6+ years that they were on the shelves Crispy M&M's brought in more bank than any other M&M variety, and it's heavily rumored that Crispys are making their return in 2011. Did they really discontinue their biggest earner just to crush us right in the jaw with it 11 years later? Are the people over at M&M headquarters just the smartest mother fuckers ever? No ones going to know what hit them and these things are going to fly off of shelves. Is anyone else as stunned as I am by this possibility? Those sneaky bastards. It's so crazy it just might work. If you don't think I'm sending an application to the Crispy M&M department after college you're out of your mind.

P.S. Until 2011 you can find them in Europe, Australia, and Southeast Asia. I hear 'Nam is nice in May.

1 comment:

  1. fucking love crispy M and M's... great blog by the way, funny and smart not just a dumbass recount of your day, which most blogs are