Sunday, May 23, 2010

Top 500 Feelings - #379 Executing the Perfect Eyefuck

The eyefuck, when executed correctly, is the most potent weapon in the world. You spy a girl at a bar/house party/classroom and cast Casanova glances in her direction until she returns them with a look that essentially guarantees at the very least a D-Floor makeout. The look often says "Why don't we skip all the formalities and go smush cheeks in the bathroom right now?"

One thing has to be said: Women are better at eyefucking than men. Now I may just think this because I don't enjoy looking at men when they are in eyefuck-mode, but I honestly think women have captured the game much better than us. We have Blue Steel, and that's pretty much it. Anything else will just say to a girl, "Hey, I'm (insert name) and one of 3 things is about to happen: We're going to make out, I'm going to watch you all night, or I'm going through all 81 of your profile pics on Facebook as soon as I go home, spending extra time on your Halloween and Miami '09 pictures." Keep in mind option 3 often occurs anyway if option 1 or 2 happen.

Eyefucking someone without getting one in return from them isn't always the worst thing. You didn't really lose anything-Let's say the girl calls you out on it (which wouldn't happen because girls have no balls, pun intended). You can just laugh, maybe throw in a hair-flip, and say that's how your eyes always are. Plus, it's not like you asked them to dance and they said no, they just didn't send back a look of pure sluttery your way. The eyefuck defines what we like to call "Low risk, high reward".

1 comment:

  1. id say this is higher on the list. feels fucking excellent