Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Reader E-mail


To Whom It May Concern:

I'm not here to beat around the bush, kiss ass, or anything in between. I like what you're doing with the blog and I want in. I'm a freshman in Kostka (capital of Bro-hio) and will be living in a Walsh 8 next year. Do I have any blog writing experience? Doesn't matter. What do I do around campus? I'm an intramural boss. I want to take your blog to the next level.

I'm a guy in nursing. I'm talking tail as far as the eye can see. They have no perception of what BrostonCollege.com is, what you do, or what you stand for yet. What do hoes do? They talk. They talk about bros, other hoes, and periods. After I talk to them they can't go two sentences without mentioning BrostonCollege to their hoe followers at the round tables of Mac and the long fellowship tables of Lower. Before you know it, we're taking over the nation.

So you guys got on the school newspaper; now isn't the time to fold up shop. I'm talking we should be the premier blog for the entire college demographic. We should have Portnoy and Thornton shaking in their pansy red booties
over at the Stool. They'll be soiling their loose Gap boxers and ruing the day they took shots at BC.

I attached a writing sample of mine. I submitted it for my freshman writing seminar. It's a true story. I'm also down for a case race or what have you to prove my loyalty and commitment. Let me know what you think.

First of all, I love the reader e-mails. If you send us an e-mail that is remotely funny or amusing, we're probably going to post it. Let me say this, the kid clearly has an angle. He's a nurse and he appears to be a normal bro. Needless to say, the combination of these two attributes in one heterosexual male is rare. The idea of having an insider writing on a semi-consistent basis about being a male nurse really intrigues us. Reflecting on the perks (chicks), the trials and tribulations (no one to talk chicks with), that sort of stuff. The dude can clearly write at/above a 7th grade level (which is all that we require), and he offers a niche that I really think we should consider exploring.

So, nurse man, if you choose to accept this challenge, here's what we would like you to do: You're going to have to present yourself, along with the three hottest female nurses you know, to Walsh on Thursday evening. The interview will happen in two parts: One with you, and one with the hot nurses speaking on your behalf. Don't tell us you have a paper due, or an early final, because we really don't care. If you want to write for us, you'll make this happen and prove yourself on this holiest of days (the last fun Thursday of the year). You'll be notified with more info shortly.

P.S. We have yet to come up with a good pen name for this kid, but Focker is clearly the front-runner.

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