To the Bro's of Broston College,
The bro's of Brocean's Eleven have some things to say about your blog. We ARE here to beat around the bush, kiss ass, and everything in between. We admire your brofessionalism with the site (Barstool can suck it long and hard). You bro's truly understand what it means to be the BC bro. If not for you, we would have no skoals in our mouths, no natties in hand, no brahs on our dicks (not really cuz were bro's and skoals, natties, and brahs come naturally to us).
From the first hot tub spitter of the week to Bro Chi Quinn's pitcher spitter of the week, we have been religious followers. All eleven of us are fucking livid when Portnoy copies your posts. Though none of us are well versed in the torah, we're fairly certain that even Jews know copycats are fuckin pussies. However, on May 4, 2010 at 8:44 pm we stumbled across the first problem with your postings to date...a fuckin male nurse. I mean, really? Brocean's Eleven is appalled by the fact that a male nurse gets recognition while true BC bro's are out here grinding each and every day.
We pack more skoals, drink more beers, and slay more bitches than any male nurse could ever dream. The only thing this kid will ever stick in a girl is an fuckin I.V. Brocean's 11 feels that the biggest chafe of all is going to the doctor for your yearly physical and getting stuck with a male mother fucking nurse. He wants in? We've been in, out, and back in again (pinch and pulled), and nutted on four times as many nurses as this kid could ever bring to Walsh. Kostka?...I remember my first dorm. Brocean's Eleven and Notorious B.R.O know that reslife is a bunch of fucking bro haters who don't allow true bro's to live in their dorms. And intramural boss? We would have showed up to our intramural game but Brocahantas and Marilyn Monbro were too drunk to ditch Keith Stone. So, in short, kids a pussy.
We've attached no writing samples because there was no fucking way we were waking up for 8 o'clock writing seminar class. Case race? Every bro knows that male nurses are two beer queers. It's a proven fact that nurses are auto-crunk after two apple martinis. We're curious to know if this anti-bro A.)likes girls B.) Even showed up to Mecca on thursday night with these supposed girls.
Enough with the male nurse. Are we freshman? Yes. Are we living in Walsh next year? Yes. (Minus those who have suffered the bro-hatred of fucking reslife). So before you make the decision to give Focker a shot, just know that Brocean's Eleven is out there. We crunk, we quaff, we conquer. DudeRanchFrat or die. Beers and skoals...that's where all our money goes.
Let it rage,
Broceans 11, BC 2013
I think it goes without saying that the pot has been stirred a little bit. Focker v. Brocean. Let's get these two in the Octagon or something. Anybody else feel like getting their name in the conversation? BrostonCollege@gmail.com