Apparently Ashley Cole (of England) has an absolutely smoking wife. Well it turns out she actually is a complete and utter slam show. So Ashley Cole is "married" to her or whatever, but Cole is a complete hound himself, has had some trouble keeping it to one lady, and things have been sketchy between the two for a while. Well, I guess Messi got wind of these marital squablings and issued this statement (you know you're a fucking G when you're issuing "statements" just to hit on hot wives of other soccer players):
"I don't know if Cheryl is going to want to support England. She might be a bit anti-England players at the moment. If she is looking for a new nation to follow at the World Cup she should look no further than Argentina. We play the prettiest football, have the prettiest players, and Argentinian men also know how to treat their women."
Yeah. He's an absolute stud. Like, I'm sorry Ashley (falls in a select crew with Lindsey Hunter and Brook Lopez of male athletes who have the names of hot girls) but the cardinal fucking rule when your wife is mad at you is don't let the best soccer player in the universe find out. I honestly have no sympathy for the man.