Thursday, April 29, 2010

Top 500 Feelings - #400 Getting on the Jumbotron at a Sporting Event


There are a couple of ways to obtain this feeling. All of them result in the same sheer joy and excitement. The first way, and my personal favorite, is to be the crazy dancer during a timeout. Camera men beat it to individuals of this breed. Usually they go for the younger kids fist pumping in every direction like they have epilepsy, but every once in a while you’ll look up and see a Dad twisting and shouting like he’s actually Ferris Bueller. The second way to get on the big screen is to wear an absurd outfit. There is no half-assing this either. Some eye-black and a wig dyed the color of your team is more played out than Grant Hill's career. If you don’t go the distance, you know some kid out there (probably named Noah or Micah) has their full body painted with mohawks and/or mullets swinging a terrible towel as the stadium blasts “Let’s Go” by Trick Daddy. Only a select few will get face time because of their outfits so if you're going to have any shot at all you're going to have to swallow your pride and go all out. Let's be honest, we all love our teams, but you have to have a couple screws loose to wear something like that in public.

The third way involves the proposal or the kiss cam. This is virtually impossible, and I have no prior experience, so I'm not going to sit here and preach about it. The last and final way is the easiest. Just sit courtside and chirp at the opposing team. Even if you don’t have a close up of your face you can still call your friends and give them your exact outfit, location and time when you’ll wave your hand/flip the bird so they can find you like you’re Waldo. Getting on the Jumbotron is a great feeling, all you have to do is decide how you’re going to do it.

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